


We let go of what's holding us back, to find love in another life

by triggered_lizard



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, BAMF Eddie Kaspbrak, Beverly Marsh Knows Everything, Coming Out, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Emotional, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Gay Richie Tozier, HIV/AIDS Crisis, Henry Bowers Being an Asshole, Homophobic Language, Hurt/Comfort, Hypochondriac Eddie Kaspbrak, Internalized Homophobia, Laughter During Sex, M/M, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Period-Typical Homophobia, Protectiveness, Reddie, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier is a Dork, Richie Tozier is a Little Shit, Richie's uncle being kinda weird, Running Away, Smut, Soft Boys, Sonia Kaspbrak's A+ Parenting, The Losers Club (IT) Love Each Other, Touch-Starved, Truth or Dare, Verbal Abuse, Verbal Humiliation, Violence, a lot of crying, and not in the way richie wants it to, both are 17 in this fic, it will be a bumpy ride for these boys, just saying my dudes, the losers clubhouse, well Eddie turns 17 during the fic so pfff, your mom jokes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:27:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 12
Words: 26,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22546261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/triggered_lizard/pseuds/triggered_lizard
Summary: Richie confessed his feelings to Eddie and expected to be rejected. to his surprise the feeling was mutual. The crushing realization of man kind's hatred towards gays made them lay a play to run away together. Away from family, and friends and childhood.Now they must face the consequences of being together in the 90s.Tw: mentions of homophobic language, violence, underage sex, unsafe sex, verbal abuse, AIDS epidemic, and bad decisions.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, losers club friendship
Comments: 12
Kudos: 57





	1. I love you, but I'm scared

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, people of the internet!
> 
> This is my first ever published fic, so I would like so give all of you some disclaimers:
> 
> ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE. IM TRYING MY DIDELY DARN BEST. Please point out any spelling errors in the comments!
> 
> The fic is based on a roleplay my friend and I had over messenger some weeks ago, and therefore some parts of the fic might have a slightly weird flow or a lot of dialogue. The reason why we had it was to get more into character since we will be cosplaying them at a convention in April (Im cosplaying Richie and she'll be Eddie). We went ALL OUT ON THIS. Even the smut was written between us! I have never felt such weirdness in my life but it was absolutely worth it in the end!
> 
> Hope you all enjoy this mess! :3

Eddie ran down the highway as if his asthma had completely disappeared. Terror laced his face as his legs carried him as fast as they could, but he couldn’t outrun the creature behind him that screeched “YO MAMA SO FAT, EVEN DORA COULDN’T EXPLORE HER”. 

His little legs gave out on him and he tumbled forwards in a mess of body parts and weak lungs. The creature behind him, Richie, came to a halt behind him. “You okay there Eds?” Richie let out a deep breath before he sat down beside him, placing a hand on his shoulder as the best gesture of comfort he could manage. 

Eddie gasped for air and opened his fanny pack with trembling hands, grabbing his inhaler that he knew was fake, but he still kept it because it made him feel better.  
“breathe baby” he choked on his own words, but unfortunately for him, was a little too late, “I’m gay, I MEAN, your mom gay!” ˋnice save there Richieˋ he thought to himself as Eddie continued to use his inhaler as oxygen. 

Little did he know that Eddie had heard what he said and stared at the ground with wide eyes. “What?” he whispered.

“I-um I’m not gay.” Richie’s heart was almost beating out of his chest as he tried to come up with another good argument as to why he definitely wasn’t gay. “I like girls, like a megaton!” he flailed his arms as if it would accentuate show mega hetero he was, or rather, how straight he disguised himself as being. He could tell Eddie was hesitant, and he was honestly ready for the scolding.

“Y-yeah, me too” Eddie let out an uncomfortable laugh as he scratched his neck. He stared down at the ground, kicking a small pebble lying right by his foot into the grass. 

“I-I need to go” before Eddie was able to respond. Richie had started walking with long strides, head bowed low. 

“Rich, hey Richie!” Eddie ran after him since his short legs couldn’t quite keep up with Richie. Luckily for him, Richie stopped in his tracks. His gaze was fixed at a specific point on the bridge, brows furrowed in something Eddie could only interpret as disgust. “What’s wrong Rich?” Richie shook his head and turned away from Eddie. 

Richie took a step back, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. “What if I was gay Eds?” His eyes remained on the carving on the bridge. Eddie took a few steps to see what Richie was looking at. A not very pretty carving of the letters R+E. He took a moment to think about the carving. Surely it couldn’t mean anything.

“Well, okay” the shock hit him like a volleyball. “that would be totally fine” he smiled, trying to reassure Richie, but something was clearly holding him back, judging by the furrowed brows. He took one last look at the carving before his curiosity couldn’t hold him back. “what’s that?”

Richie’s head snapped over to him but kept his head low. “Richie and Emily” he coughed. Eddie was taken aback. Of course, Richie was straight, and he damned himself for hoping anything more. His eyes felt warm, so he did the thing he was best at.

“I-I, my mom is probably worried about where I am” he whispered, forcing the tears in as he walked away as quickly as he could, not wanting to face the situation. Richie gripped his wrist and turned him around. 

“Wait. I-” Eddie was glad he wasn’t the only one with tears in his eyes, but a sudden urge wanted to reach out and wipe Richie’s cheek. But his logic told him to stay away, to run as fast as he could. Yet his eyes remained in Richie’s dark ones. Richie’s grip tightened on Eddie’s wrist. His eyes plummeted down onto his shoes, his stare almost intense enough to bore holes in his white vans. “I-I love you Eds”

He let go of Eddie’s wrist, his eyes went wide. Oh God, what had he done.

Eddie smiled, taking a deep breath before whispering “Don’t call me that”. At that moment, the sentence he had said hundreds of times became overbearingly personal, as if he was ashamed anybody else but Richie had heard it before.

Richie gave him a lopsided grin and met his eyes. “I know” he sighed, legs giving out under him as he toppled to the ground, dragging Eddie with him. “Please, just…” his brain denied him usage of words, only being able to think one thought: please don’t leave me. His hands began to shake as he made them into fists on the cold asphalt.

“Richie, God. I think I like you too” Eddie admitted, feeling his cheeks turn warm at the realization he had said it out loud. A chilly wave of wind blew through Richie’s hair, making it fall carefully around his face. And then Eddie didn’t think anymore, he knew he loved him.

“But you said you weren’t gay?” Richie doubted for a second. Eddie nodded softly and took one of Richie’s balled fists in his own. 

“Because you said you weren’t. I panicked thinking about you hating me if I said I was” He gave Richie an apologetic smile and rubbed his thumb over the top of Richie’s hand. He stood up and offered a hand to the other boy, which Richie took hesitantly.

“Holy shit Eds. I think I need a moment to soak it all up” He ran his fingers through his messy black curls and sighed. He looked horrified, and Eddie had to reconsider the decisions he had made with words. 

“Something wrong?” he asked wary, taking a single step away from him to give him some space, but at the same time wanted to hug him tight and reassure him. Richie just shook his head, sighing. 

“I wrote a letter to my parents, telling them I was going to run away and for them not to look for me.” Richie felt sick, as if yesterday's dinner would come crashing up in an instant, but he swallowed it down and continued. “God, I expected you to yell at me. Call me a faggot like Bowers…” 

Eddie went for it, thinking he couldn’t mess things up more than he already had. He cupped Richie’s cheek, and leaned forwards, straying just inches from his face. “I love you Rich, and you need to stop putting yourself down like this.”

“How can I not? I have a reputation as the annoying kid that no one likes. I’m just a trash-mouth. Richie Trash-mouth Tozier. It’s a miracle how Bill hasn’t thrown me out of the losers club already” A tear slid down Richie’s cheek, and Eddie immediately wiped it away with his thumb. 

“Richie. I love you, and you know that I do. Please don’t cry” Eddie held him close in a slightly awkward embrace, but not awkward as in `I don’t want to hug you, please let go`. It was more about the fact that there was a clear size difference between them, and Eddie could hear Richie’s heart pound in his ears. He had to reach upwards in a way that his shoulders hurt so that he could wrap his arms around the other’s neck. “What are you scared of?”

“I don’t want to be bullied for being gay” Richie admitted, clutching Eddie’s pink polo. Eddie could understand the situation, but he had thought less of it. He had been called girly boy several times by the bowers gang and gotten his nose broken once, but he knew the dirty gazes they had given Richie. He was also suspicious of the several bruises he had gotten, plus the flinching he did whenever he was touched suddenly. He had first taken notice when Victor Criss had slammed Richie’s head against a locker, called him a `dick sucking fag` and gave him a bruised eye. He didn’t think the other losers had thought twice about Richie liking boys since he always joked about having sex with girls, and Eddie’s mom.

“The club got us covered, don’t they? We’ll just have to be careful” He stated as bravely as he could, but he knew that if the bowers gang found out, or anyone else in Derry for that matter, they would not make it to adulthood. It was a sinister thought, but one that was scarily true.

“Hopefully”


	2. Stay away from him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonia loses her shit and Eddie gets mad.  
> Mentions of slurs and the AIDS epidemic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got impatient with myself and therefore share the chapter now instead of on Monday... So here yall go!

Once Eddie opened the door to his home, his mother rose from her chair. “Eddie-bear! Where have you been! I have been worried sick” she ran up to him, hugging him tightly in a strange, protective way that was in no way to any comfort. Eddie panicked, but still greeted his mom with the usual “Hey momma” in the calmest voice he managed.

“You know mommy doesn’t like it when you stay out this late! Give me an explanation” she grabbed his face, making him look at her straight in the eyes. Eddie hated it with his entire heart. 

“I’m sorry mom” he muttered as if his words held meaning, but in reality, he wasn’t sorry at all. 

“Have you been with that Marsh girl? You know she is a slut right” Sonia let go of her son’s face, stepping back and hissing out the name as if it was a curse word.

“What! No!” “I was playing with my friends… and I got tired!” He tried to pretend he wasn’t offended by the remark, but his heart was beating over a hundred beats per minute. 

“Who Eddie” Eddie hated the way she said his name. It was stone cold, like a villain from one of his favorite comic books. It was filled with anger, but emotionless at the same time. 

“Richie… Bill and Stan. We were playing in Bill’s back yard”

“You know, that Tozier boy is a really bad influence on you. We can’t have fairies like that in our neighborhood. He just perverting the children.” She sneered and looked out the window as if her argument would be more valid. Not that it ever was, Eddie would know from experience. 

“M-mom, he’s not a fairy” he felt his hands become clammy as he tried to defend Richie. He sensed that his mother took notice, as she put on her fake concerned face again.

“Is something wrong Eddie bear? Should I call the ambulance?” she rushed to the telephone in the kitchen, picking it up and punching the dials, yet not pressing the call button. 

“Mom, I just got tired and he invited me inside. I’m fine!” he protested, yet his mother was hesitant.

“That damned fag, he’s going to give you AIDS if you’re not careful around him. God knows what he might do to you!” She left the phone hanging by the line as she embraced her son. To Eddie, it didn’t feel like an embrace, as his heart pounded so fast it hurt his chest. How could a woman who was supposed to love him say such nasty things about his best friend? Sure, she cared about his health and all, but it made him feel isolated and afraid of everything. 

“Mom! He isn’t dangerous!” Eddie screamed, knowing full well that his mother would be grounded for protecting Richie. But he was so tired of his mother that he just couldn’t stay in the background and take all the shit she said about his friends. 

“I cannot risk you getting sick from that boy! You’re grounded!” She stepped away from him but held his wrist tightly. He noticed now that he liked it way better when Richie was the one gripping his wrist, and not the tyrant he called mother. 

“But it wasn’t his fault! He didn’t want to wake me up, I swear! He didn’t do anything!”

“I still worry for you Eddie” 

“I know you do. I’m fine, really” He backed until he had approached the stairs, taking the first step up and wishing he could take the rest. “I’ll go to my room now”

“Eddie.”

“Y-yes momma” Eddie turned around, meeting his mother’s furious gaze. 

“If I see you hanging around that boy one more time, I’m going to call the cops on him” she gave her son I sinister smile, a I-know-you-will-regret-it-if-you-go-against-me lopsided grin that he hated. Her eyes bore holes into Eddie’s skull. “So be a good boy and don’t hang around faggots like him”

“No” Eddie whispered, tired of fighting. 

“What?”

“I SAID NO”

“Eddie bear...” Her face was emotionless. Even her previously worried expression was gone. It was just a stone-cold exterior as she said “You’ll get AIDS. And it will kill you”

“I WON’T” He ripped his arms away from her grip and distanced himself from the horrible woman. 

“Richie is the only one that actually cares for me”

“I CARE ABOUT YOU” her voice was loud enough to be heard from the neighbor’s house; he was sure. 

“How can you be so heartless!” she played the pity card like she had done every time Eddie rebelled against her. She claimed she'd be alone forever and heartbroken if her son ever did something to deceive her. How she had always done what was best for him, but Eddie knew that wasn’t the truth. 

“If you really cared about me!” he started, body tensing like he was going to burst. But he wanted to return the stone-cold stare, the pitying words of destruction. “If you really cared about me, then you would let me go” “I feel trapped in his house. I feel trapped and it’s like HELL”

“You are WEAK Eddie! You know what happened when you were with them a year ago.”

That was the last straw. He snapped around and hissed in his mother’s face “That’s life mom. People get hurt all the time. It’s a natural part of childhood to become stronger.” He grated his teeth together and heard the sharp sound cut in his ears. “You are the reason why I’m weak”

“I don’t want you to die like your father, and I don’t want you being around those people anymore” 

“I- please, no!” he felt the tears start to appear in his eyes, yet he refused to let them fall. He was weak, yes, but he was strong enough to refuse to be submissive to her anymore. He wanted to be free from her tyranny. Free from her worrying and overprotection. Free from HER.

“It’s for your own safety” “Now go to your room before mommy does something she might regret” and Eddie did just that. He ran up the stairs with precision, as he had done since he learned how to walk. The TV flickers on from downstairs, and he can hear Sonia sit down in her uncomfortable chair. “What a bitch” he whispered to himself as he stood at the top of the stairs, only a few feet away from his bedroom door. 

He had a chance to escape away from all of this, as Richie had proposed only hours ago. Right now, it seemed like the only option that was available to him. Other than staying with his overbearing mother that would most likely kill him slower. 

The floorboards creaked as he took slow but raging steps towards the door. His small hand gripped the door handle so hard that he feared it might fall off if he got just a little more provoked. He hated the way everything in the house made noise. How he was constantly reminded where he was. 

“Richie” he dragged his feet over the bed, flopped down and let his tears fall. He damned his mother for being such a let-down and himself for letting her manipulate him for years. “Richie, please save me”


	3. Guardian angel and bad handwriting

“Richie, please save me”

As if on cue, a loud noise made him look over to the window. Richie fell face first onto the beige carpet with his limbs sprawled around him in a tangled mess. He jerked his face up and grinned “Your guardian angel is here!”. His expression fell flat as he saw the puffiness of Eddie's eyes and he rushed over to embrace him. Eddie jumped off the bed and poured his heart out to him. His tears soaked Richie’s t-shirt as he gripped the collar of the ugly Hawaiian shirt he always insisted on wearing. Richie held around him tightly, but not in the way his mother had. It was comforting but felt wrong. 

“It didn’t go well, did it?” Richie’s words were soft compared to his raging mother, which he found great sadness in, even though he probably shouldn’t. Eddie wanted to cry out. It was like a bubble inside of him being poked with a needle. He wanted to burst. He wanted to pour his heart out and get held in Richie’s arms until he felt okay again. 

His words got stuck in his throat as he tried to speak. “S-she said” his tears flooded his eyes. It was too much to tell. “She doesn’t want me to be around you anymore” his words were choked as he tried to stop himself from talking. The words Sonia had said felt too personal, even though they were for another person. A person who he believed would never cause him harm.

Richie ran a hand up Eddie’s spine in comfort, knowing Sonia would be an absolute asshole about it. “I didn’t tell her I liked you, but she said…” he heard Richie’s heartbeat as he rested his head against the taller boy’s chest. “She said I’ll get AIDS from being with you and I don’t want to hear the rest she said.” The heavy breathing went still, and he knew. “I’m so sorry”

“Of course, she said that” his voice was low, near breaking point. Eddie knew he was masquerading what he really felt but didn’t want to push. He ran a hand up Richie’s neck and soothed the skin underneath his nape. 

“I don’t know what to do Richie. If she sees you, she’ll call the cops” his eyes were dry. All his tears had been shed, but he wanted nothing more than to cry and let it all out. He didn’t care about the consequences on his side, because he knew he would only get grounded for a few days, but Richie would have had it way worse. He would get in serious trouble, especially if his mom said what he thought she would say. She would claim Richie was trying to get her son sick with AIDS, even though Richie never had intended to hurt anyone. He was old enough to be sent to jail now. 

“We could…” Richie took a moment to think and came up with an idea Eddie would no way agree to, but he suggested it anyways. “Dumb thought, but we could run away together” 

“W-what?” Eddie’s eyes went wide as he took in the suggestion. It was a bad idea, yes, but what else could they do? Talk to their parents and get thrown into the sewers? Act like they were straight and be depressed until they moved away from Derry?

“If it means we are both safe then it’s worth the risk. I know a guy…”

“Who?” 

“Um, just my uncle. He lives just a few hours away from here. Cool guy.” He tried to sound convincing that his uncle wasn’t a stoner, which Eddie had high suspicions of. “Said if I ever needed somewhere to stay, I was welcome there”

“Oh, I. You know, fuck it.” He didn't have time to be stuck in Derry with his mom forever. And he hated the play anyway. “I need to get away from her” 

“Pack your shit and meet me at the quarry in two hours” he pecked Eddie’s cheek with a quick kiss and attempted to get through the small window with his long legs, only to get stopped my Eddie mid-way.

“Richie, wait!” he smiled, taking a step forward until he was able to grab Richie’s shirt. Richie leaned in and asked softly “What is it, love?”

Eddie’s heart melted right there and then. His face went red, he was sure of it. “Perhaps we should write the other losers a letter! To tell them why we are gone.”

“Good point. They’ll be worried if we don’t respond to them” 

“Now I’m just scared that they’ll hate us!”

Richie leaned down and rested his head on Eddie’s shoulder. “We’ll be leaving anyway. And I know Bev doesn’t mind.”

“Why do you think Bev doesn’t mind us being together?”

“Oh lord how many hours I’ve been ranting to her about your soft little smile and anger tantrums” He wondered for a moment if he was the only one who hadn’t lusted over Beverly after all these years. He thought she was pretty, of course, but he wasn’t attracted to her. The only thing she was to him was a cigarette friend and my personal gay therapist. “She always told me I had a shine in my eyes when I talked about you, compared to the times where I talked about girls I claimed to be attracted to”

“So, I am the only one who is a clueless moron then?”

“No, you are my clueless moron” Richie beamed with a smile as he grabbed a piece of paper from the writing desk and a few pencils. He sat down beside Eddie and started writing.

Dear Losers

“What now”  
“Um, let me write”

Dear Losers  
We’re leaving, fuck you  
Sincerely, Eddie and four eyes

“I am not THAT blind”

Eddie rolled his eyes “Yes you are”

“Anything else?

Ps: we’re gay as hell.

“perfect, but your handwriting is shit”

“Excuse me! My handwriting is fancy! Look at these loops!” Eddie pointed at the so-called loops he had made in the Ls, proudly puffing out his chest. “You see that i? MAGNIFICENT”

Richie took the letter from Eddie’s hands and read it out loud in the foulest British accent Eddie had ever heard. 

Dear Losers  
We’re leaving, fuck you.  
Sincerely-

He took a pencil from the floor and crossed out something on the paper.

Sincerely Eddie and four eyes. 

"No, even better!"

Sincerely Eduardo and Ricardo.

“NOW, it’s perfect!” he folded the paper in three and put it in his chest pocket. “Okay, pack, leave” the window creaked open as he walked out of it. Hopefully for the last time ever. “I’ll meet you there”

Eddie got left to his own devices and proceeded to drag an old suitcase out from under his bed. He found some clothes he wore often, some of his belongings and all his medicine that he secretly knew he didn’t need. 

He wanted to leave; he really did. But he knew he would miss his home. He would miss his mother, even though he hated her all the time. Freedom was something he had always dreamed of, and he didn’t regret saying yes to running away with Richie; quite the opposite. 

He hated himself for hesitating. He wanted to go so badly, but the guilt of leaving his mother tore at his heart.

He hated her.

He hated her so much for letting him become manipulated.

The picture he had next to his bed displayed a 12-year-old Eddie next to his mother. It was just days before pennywise had nearly killed them all, and before he broke his arm. A flash of Richie’s terrified face flashed in front of his eyes. The hands that cupped his cheeks to make him look away from the demonic clown was on him like an imprint for life. He heard the horrid voice of Richie panicking for him to be safe. “DO NOT FUCKING TOUCH ME!” Eddie had screamed.

Sometimes he wondered if it ever even happened, or if it was just a weird dream all the losers had shared in some weird psychic way. 

He lifted the framed picture from his bedtable and drove his knuckles into it as hard as he could, tearing the photo in half. There was a hole where his mother’s face had been, and a speck of blood dripped onto her dress. 

His head was buzzing with adrenaline and his hand felt numb from the shards of glass stuck in his skin. Small drops of blood ran down his fingers and onto the ugly carpet. His other hand discarded the picture, who’s frame was broken and splintered. It fell off as it hit the ground, glass shattered around, the image unrecognizable. 

A tear slid from his eye when he closed the suitcase lid. He would be free now, with the man he loved. 

But first, painkillers and a bandage.


	4. Exposing the Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The losers find their letter, but their reactions were definitely not what Eddie and Richie had expected.

The warm late-summer air was nice on Eddie’s skin as he rode his bike into the dense woods of Derry. He managed to escape through his window without his mother noticing and he had strapped his suitcase on the back of his bike. His right hand throbbed as the painkillers had not yet taken effect, and it gave him flashbacks to the time he fell onto the table in the house on Neibolt street and broke his arm. 

He left his bike in a bush by the entry of the forest so that it wouldn’t get stolen by some punk on night duty. The trail to the clubhouse wasn’t long, so he didn’t care to run. He wasn’t in a hurry anymore, and he hoped he would never be again. 

A sigh escaped his lips as he opened the door to the dusty clubhouse. Richie wasn’t there yet, but it was nothing new to him to be late for something. Eddie just guessed he’d just want to be over with it and leave, but since the older hadn’t come early he assumed he either ended up in a fight with his parents or cried his eyes out for leaving. Most likely he just got distracted by a butterfly on the way to the forest and gone off track, but once in his life, he didn't feel like making jokes about Richie.

Richie had never been an emotional person. It seemed like everything was butterflies and rainbows with him all the time, and he knew the boy was hiding behind a façade of teasing and jokes. Eddie liked this new side of Richie. It felt more human and personal compared to the happy go lucky personality he claimed to have. It was almost like he had two different people inside of him all the time, but the jokester one was the dominant one by far. 

His thoughts were cut short as he heard rustles of leaves behind him. “Hello, i-is anyone there?” The biggest possibility was Richie, but he was still scared one of the Bowers gang members had followed him into the woods. Eddie closed the door to the clubhouse and stepped back from the bush. He closed his eyes and balled his hands into fists, his right hand flinched as he squeezed it a little too tightly. 

“Eddie! Oh my god, you actually came! AH, FUCKING SPIDER” Richie tripped out of the bush with a loud thud. He scrambled to his feet to see Eddie, who stood in front of him with his eyes forced shut. “Are you alright?” his voice was quiet as he cupped the cheek of the other boy. Eddie slowly opened his eyes and let go of a breath he didn’t know he held. 

“Y-yeah, of course!" He smiled at Richie. A small, pathetic smile that made his emotions crystal clear in the warm light. Richie sensed the doubt and leaned down, giving a small but emotional hug. Eddie’s lip quivered on Richie’s neck.

“You don’t need to do this if you don’t want to.” He rested his head against Eddie’s, eyes still closed. It was so simple. Just to run away and start a new life, yet the fear of the world scared Eddie to bits. He wanted it more than anything and damned himself for thinking that he would ever doubt Richie. He knew the boy was inappropriate and even reckless at times, but Eddie trusted him with important decisions, weirdly enough. 

“I want to” Eddie whispered. “More than anything” he grabbed Richie’s hand and led him into the dusty clubhouse. They hadn’t used it in a while since they started school again after summer break, but they had planned a meeting that evening, so they knew the other losers would come. “And don’t ask about my hand. It’s a long story” he noted as they ascended the ladder.

“Place it somewhere obvious” Richie gave Eddie the neatly folded paper from his pocket and pointed at the shower caps. “Lay it in Stan’s cap. The man got a serious thing for spiders”

“Against spiders Rich” Eddie corrected quietly. 

“He’s probably just hiding a long-legs-eight-eyes fetish” Richie winked and slapped the other boy’s ass. Eddie let out a high shriek and slapped Richie’s cheek in response, his face bright red in embarrassment. Richie just gave him a sly grin and handed the cap to him. 

Eddie placed the paper inside the shower cap just as he heard the voices of his friends outside. 

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO” Richie screeched in a semi-quiet voice, and panicked like a maniac. 

“UM, HIDE???” and so they did. Eddie jumped into a barrel behind the hammock while Richie hid in the shadows under the stairs. Eddie put his hands over his mouth to mask his hard breathing and trembled to get his inhaler from the small space. The pocket was just a little too far out of reach, and at that point he appreciated the loud bantering between what he could recognize as Bill, Ben, and Mike. 

“Batman is clearly better than Superman!” Mike took loud steps down the stairs of the clubhouse. The dust made Richie want to sneeze, but he resisted, like everything else in life.

“B-bullshi-it!” Bill yelled back, while Ben was giving concrete facts as to why they were both good in their own way. 

“Oh my god! Can’t you three shut the fuck up?” Stan the man, in his usual fashion, was not interested in the bickering and had heard it at least 20 times before. 

Richie glanced at the stairs, just to see Bev’s butt right in front of his nose. He had a moment he could only describe as gay panic and swallowed any noise he almost let loose. To avoid the sight, he squeezed his eyes shut so hard that it almost hurt his eyelids. He only dared to open them when he heard steps in the stairs. 

“N-no!” Bill shot in. “This is-s an important convers-sation we n-need to have!”

Richie could almost hear Stan roll his eyes and shrug them off in his usual Stanley fashion. 

“Why didn’t you guys invite Eddie and Richie? I thought this was supposed to be a team meeting?” Ben sat down next to Bev and was as caring as always. She raised her eyebrows at the remark and looked over to Bill, who was the one in charge of sending out the invitations.

Bill shook his head and announced “I-I w-went to Richie’s house, b-b but no one was t-t-there. S-same with Eddie”

“Eddie’s mom seemed really upset, so we checked his bedroom window. The only thing we found was a total mess and a broken picture frame with blood around it. Richie’s room was weirdly clean, except for blood on his door handle” Stan added, seeming to have lost his previous annoyance. Ben rose from his seat and began pacing, which he usually did when he was worried. 

“Maybe the Bowers gang has taken them?” Mike suggested and visibly tensed at the name. 

Bev stood up too and grabbed Ben’s shoulders, making him stand still. “Richie would never let anything happen to Eddie. He would fight with his dangly arms until he got knocked unconscious.” Richie wanted to yell out at her for saying he had dangly arms, but the temptation got resolved with a deep breath. “Anyways, I saw the gang just a few minutes ago teasing some other kids, so I think they’re safe”

Stan was about to put on his shower cap when the paper note fell out and landed on the floor. “W-what’s that?” Bill asked and pointed at the folded sheet. He picked it up and scanned it with furrowed brows.

“We don’t do telekinesis, Bill. Tell us! What does it say!” Mike sat down in the hammock, which made Eddie’s heart pound way faster than it should. It was the moment of truth, to see if their friends really were their true friends. 

Bev took the note from Bill's hands and cleared her throat. “Dear Losers, we’re leaving. Fuck you.” She paused and held in a laugh. It was like she could hear the boys argue over what to write. “Sincerely Eduardo and Ricardo.” She unfolded the rest of the paper. 

A loud gasp was heard in the background as the rest of the text got revealed. “F-FUCKING CALLED IT HANSCOM!” Bill yelled and laughed like a maniac. “Pay up!” he rubbed his hands together as Ben fished a 5 dollar bill out of his back pocket. 

“DAMN IT BILL NOT NOW” Stan scolded Bill as Bev interrupted. “I knew Richie was gay in like, 3rd grade. So, no shocker there”

Richie tripped out from his hiding spot and pointed aggressively at Beverly. “How in the fresh fuck did you know I was gay before I did?! Explain yourself Miss Marsh!” he gasped, flailing his arms in a dramatic manner of a drag queen dancing. Bev looked outright offended. 

“Good job idiot” Eddie sneered from the barrel, making Mike jump. 

“You bitches have been hiding in the corner just to see our reaction?” Bev slapped Richie across the face and knocked his glasses off. 

“What is it with people slapping me today?!” Richie quipped and dropped to the floor to find his glasses. Eddie jumped out of the barrel and grabbed Richie’s glasses, placing them on the bridge of Richie’s nose. He muttered a quick thanks before leaning over to one of the steps on the stairs.

“Are you guys leaving for real?” Mike asked from the hammock. Richie and Eddie both shared a knowing look before Richie spoke up.

“This town isn’t safe for us anymore. With people around like the Bowers gang and homophobes we just won’t be safe.” His gaze dropped to the floor at the mentioned of the word he had for so long identified with. “I want to take Eddie away from his mom since she has become overbearing” his hand searched for Eddie’s, but he couldn’t find it. His heart felt cold as he sunk to the floor. Eddie was by him in seconds and held him close.

“D-did she hurt y-you Ed-ddie?” Bill pointed to Eddie’s bandaged hand, but Eddie shook his head and explained that it was the reason they had found a broken picture frame on the floor. He felt Richie’s eyes on him the entire time.

“But where will you stay?” Ben asked as he looked over to the baggage neatly hidden in the corner of the clubhouse. They hadn’t packed a lot, but he sure hoped it would be enough. 

“My uncle” Richie took a deep breath and continued. “He lives out of town. Told me if I ever needed a place to stay, I’d be welcome there”

“Where?”

“Two hours away, so not too far” Eddie added.

Bill and Stan shared a knowing look before Bill asked “H-how d-d-do you expect t-to get t-there?”

Eddie looked over at Richie, whose eyes were still on the floor. They hadn’t found a solution to how they would escape, just that they would do it. With a bike, they would have to use the entire day to get there, but it would be worth it. It was a small cost for freedom, but the highways would be dangerous. 

“We don’t have a plan, but riding our bikes at sunrise. We’ll stay in the clubhouse overnight for safety reasons.” Eddie didn’t sound reassuring, not to the other Losers nor himself. Both Bev and Stan cursed under their breaths. 

“Are you insane! There is no way in hell we’ll let you go this easily!” Stan burst out and walked up to Richie and Eddie. “Okay, congrats, you’re basically married by now. But it is still too early for the honeymoon.”

“Please stay…” Bev put in. “We’ll figure something out, something else than this”

“Maybe we should all have a sleepover here?” Mike suggested and the other losers lit up at the idea. “Yeah!" Bill chimed in.

“But first; team meeting!”


	5. Disappointing your mother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!!!!!WARNING!!!!!!!  
> Get ready for the most awkward smut I've written in my life!
> 
> This is probably the longest chapter I'll write, so enjoy the hideous creation. Keep in mind that this was edited in a rush before my theatre class, so there might still be some mistakes and spelling errors. 
> 
> Stop now if you want to keep your innocence like Stan!

The other losers went to pack some snacks and such for the sleepover, but Eddie and Richie remained pretty much at the same spot they were at when the losers left the clubhouse. 

“So, what should we do now?” Eddie leaned onto Richie’s shoulder and smiled with half-lidded eyes. Richie ruffled his hair for a moment, before kissing the top of his head.

“Should we see how much the hammock can take before breaking?” Richie purred into Eddie’s ear, which made his face go bright red. Before he knew it, he got shoved off the older boy’s shoulder and raced to the unstable hammock. “DIBS” Richie yelled right before he flung himself into the hammock. 

“You motherfucker!” Eddie wasn’t far behind him but had enough distance as he saw Richie’s body fall out of the furniture after the bad attempt. 

“Got that right spaghetti” Richie wheezed from the floor. Eddie heard the teasing in his voice, which was a weirdly constant thing with his tone. It was like he could say anything, and it would still sound like he had told a joke. 

“Looks like I win” Eddie pointed out proudly from the hammock. He leaned over the edge and gave Richie a sly smile, but Richie had other plans. A sharp feeling at Eddie’s sides made him double over with laughter. Richie held him down with one knee while he tickled Eddie to bits. The latter screeched at the top of his lungs for the other to stop. Richie stopped, but at the expense of Eddie’s cheeks. He pinched them between his fingers and chanted “cute, cute, cute!” repeatedly.

Richie lowered himself onto Eddie until he had all his limbs inside of the hammock. He laid still a moment, contrary to his enormous energy burst just a few seconds ago. “I love you more than anything” Eddie was about to respond with I love you too, but Richie so rudely interrupted him with another foul nickname. “My little asthma boy”

“And I who thought we had a moment there” Eddie grumbled with a slight wheeze. “But I love you too”

“I love you more”

“Na-ha”

“Ya-ha!” Richie yelled out and readjusted himself on top of Eddie. 

Eddie tried to take a deep breath, but his lungs deceived him. “Richie…” he managed to get out as his breathing became more labored. “You’re squeezing me”

Instead of moving off him immediately, Richie had a different idea. He leaned down, mindful of the growing tension between them until he was right by Eddie’s ear. “Wanna be on top?” He moaned into the smaller boy’s ear, and he almost felt the heat that radiated off Eddie’s face. 

“E-excuse me” Eddie felt himself struggle ever more to breathe, and he was sure his face was bright red. 

“Like I said” he flipped them both around with ease, which made so that Eddie straddled Richie’s lap. Eddie gulped; his face turned even redder than before. His eyes squeezed shut just seconds before he felt a soft hand run up his thigh. “These shorts are going to be the death of me Eds” Richie purred quietly and the other had to stifle a moan. 

Eddie bit his lower lip so hard he was almost sure it had started bleeding. He could feel the heat growing in his abdomen and he damned himself again, as he had too many times these past days, for wanting the other. “W-what? We can’t! What if they…”

“Let them see” Richie interrupted as he slid his hand under the shorts and up to his hips. “Let them see you’re mine” his hands sneaked down to Eddie’s ass and squeezed it with a breathy whine escaping his lips. He moved one of his hands up his spine, making the other shiver and brush against Richie’s growing erection.

“R-Richie…” Eddie moaned higher than he anticipated, and his entire face went even brighter red in embarrassment. Richie just continued the action, further teased him until Eddie squirmed in his lap. “You like that?”

Eddie nodded shyly in return, which Richie took as a cue to shorten the distance between them. He nibbled at the soft skin on Eddie’s neck and teased the hem of his shirt with the tips of his fingers. The smaller boy made an ungodly sound as he sucked on a spot right at the bridge between the neck and shoulder. 

“God, you’re gonna kill me if you make more of those sounds” Richie purred into Eddie’s ear and pulled his shirt upwards to reveal tanned skin. 

Eddie moaned louder on purpose just to make Richie harder than he already was, and he felt the effect of his noise just seconds later as something hard pressed against his butt. “You’re going to make me come even before you’re undressed” Richie pressed his hand along Eddie’s inner thigh, just inches away from his rock-hard member. 

“Rich” Eddie bit his teeth together in an attempt to stifle his sounds but decided that he would rather want to see Richie’s reactions.

“Tell me what you want”

To this, Eddie could go on and on for hours. He could uncover every single dirty dream he’d had about Richie, which were a surprisingly high number despite his innocent-ish nature. He wanted to get tied up, have his hair pulled, kissed, cuddled, dominated, ripped to shreds. He wanted Richie, in any way, shape or form. He wanted to be fucked to bits. 

“Take my clothes off” Eddie demanded and raised his arms so that Richie could easily pull the polo over Eddie’s head. Richie threw it onto the floor beside his backpack and retreated his hands onto Eddie’s hips, tugging at the waistband unsurely. “P-please” Eddie brought his hands down to Richie’s hands and guided them downwards to the edge of his shorts, pulling them down while still being on top of him.

Eddie had never felt this exposed ever before. Well, he was naked, except for his socks, but it felt more emotional than anything he had ever done before. It wasn’t like when he had touched himself in the shower, or on in bed, thinking about Richie. Because now the boy was under him in real life, not just in his imagination. It was a surreal thought, but one he’d gladly get used to.

His thoughts got interrupted as Richie slid a hand up his inner thigh, squeezing it gently as he moved his way upwards. His eyes were halfway shut, and for a moment, Eddie was scared he imagined someone else than him. His accusation was discarded when Richie spoke up in a choked voice. “I need a moment to recap what is about to happen” he paused for a moment before slamming his hands together in a prayer. “Oh, sweet lord! Give me the strength to make this boy see stars! AMEN!” 

Eddie tried to conceal his giggle but to no avail. The giggle turned into screeching with laughter as Richie said his weird prayers of unlimited condoms, clothing pins, and cheddar cheese. “You moron” he croaked out between laughing fits. 

Richie booped his nose with his own and added “But you love me, right?”

Eddie nodded and whispered “Yeah, I do” before closing the small gap between them in a heated first kiss. He tugged at Richie’s long hair and tilted the other’s head back, making him sigh in pleasure. “I want you to touch me” His eyes were hollowed in lust, a side Richie never in his life imagined Eddie to have. And Lord Jesus did he appreciate the look.

Richie grabbed at Eddie’s hips and slid back to his ass. Eddie let out a lewd sound as the hands touched his soft skin, treasuring the moment as well as he could. Richie explored every inch of the other boy. Experimentally he dragged his fingernails over the blades of Eddie’s shoulders, which he knew would leave a mark. 

“And then?” Richie almost growled, making Eddie blush even harder than before. The redness extended over his chest and stomach, which Richie took great delight in. Eddie bit his inner cheek as he took a moment to quickly think over if he actually wanted this. He didn’t want to have to think about what he wanted, but he knew the answer was simple.

He made up his mind, he wanted Richie, obviously. He would’ve been a dick if he backed out now, but he knew Richie would’ve respected it, but covered it up with an inappropriate joke. He guessed he had to take it easy this time, and rather bring up his kinks in a later erotic session if there would ever be one more.

Without any warning, he ripped off Richie’s palm-shirt and dragged the t-shirt over his head. His hands traced the lean muscle of Richie’s torso and stomach. There was a purple and red bruise just under Richie’s right nipple, which Eddie guessed had been from him falling into his room earlier that day, so he didn't question it.

Richie’s eyes were on him the entire time. He didn’t even need to look at his face to know there was a satisfactory smile upon his lips. “Do you want me?” it was a simple question, yet Eddie had no response. The only thing he managed to croak out was a weak “yes…”. 

He slammed his lips against the other’s in a very uncoordinated kiss. Richie held onto Eddie's neck in a desperate attempt to get closer and moaned into the kiss. The smaller boy moved slightly further back on Richie’s lap but remained in the kiss as he caught Richie’s leg between his thighs and began to grind gently. 

Richie broke the kiss rapidly and slurred out “I need my pants off RIGHT FUCKING NOW”. Eddie agreed happily and helped him get them off with desperation. Just as they were at his ankles, he added “but the crocs stay on during sex!” 

Eddie looked up at Richie with a stare that could shoot straight through him in a second. “Okay, I can take them off” Richie sighed in defeat while Eddie did the same, but in relief. Eddie removed them swiftly with his feet and moved upwards right away to capture the other’s lips. Richie gripped onto both of Eddie’s wrist with one hand and held them over his head. Eddie gulped at the sudden dominance but went with it. 

Richie parted Eddie’s legs and kissed the skin on his neck. “You sure you want this?” he nudged Eddie’s neck with his soft hair and kissed his earlobe. “YES!” Eddie yelled out in a sudden burst of desperation he didn’t know he felt. He felt a pang of embarrassment, so he muttered an apologetic “sorry. I mean yes, please”. 

He let go of Eddie’s hands as he reached into the backpack beside the hammock to receive a small bottle and his wallet. He pulled out a condom from the wallet and threw it into the backpack again, but missed and fell into a crevice in the floor. Richie was too into the moment to notice.

“You thought of everything, didn’t you?” Eddie repositioned himself and sat down on Richie’s thighs, admiring the view in front of him. His hands crept upwards to Richie’s very hard member, but it got smacked away as Richie started to squeeze a bit of the lube onto his fingers. 

“Of course I did” He smirked back. Eddie scooted forwards, brushing over Richie’s throbbing dick before kneeling over his stomach. 

“Please” 

Richie leaned upwards to give Eddie a passionate kiss as he muttered “This will be slightly cold”, and boy howdy was he correct. Eddie shivered at the contact and the freezing temperature but lowered himself down on the finger with a low moan. 

“Are you okay?” Richie caressed Eddie’s cheek while he gently explored the inside of him. Eddie gave him a nod. “This feels…weird” he hissed as Richie curled his finger.

Richie gave him an unsure look before softly asking “because we’re both boys?”. Eddie could see the panic in his eyes but reassured him that he had nothing against it. “Having a finger up your ass?” He teased and smiled smugly. 

“You’re such a turn-off” Eddie slapped the other’s chest and huffed, yet he gladly accepted another finger. His body trembled in pleasure as he ground against the fingers and he let out a loud sound deep from his throat. Richie ran a hand through Eddie’s thick brown hair and pulled slightly back to make the sounds more amplified. 

“Eddie…” Richie let out a growl as he watched the boy in front of him on full display, hot and moaning. “You’re so good Eds” he praised and waited for a reaction, as he would’ve done when he cracked jokes too. He thought Eddie was beautiful before but seeing him so vulnerable and rule-breaking was truly wonderful. He wondered what his mother would say if she saw her son like this since she still saw him as being her little boy. For some reason, he wanted her to bust them in the act. He wanted her to know how filthy her son’s thoughts were, how he pleasured himself with another boy she despised

Eddie slowly slid his hand down to his member and started stroking it hard. “Let me” Richie insisted and placed his hand onto the smaller one. He gave it a few gentle tugs, watching Eddie closely the entire time. 

“R-Richie” Eddie’s mouth fell open as he groaned in pleasure, eyes closed while his brain malfunctioned. Richie added another finger and steadied the rhythm so that it matched with the stroking. He silently praised Eddie’s very blurry beauty and resisted the temptation to touch himself, as his dick was sore from neglect. Eddie clenched his fists on Richie’s chest and drew out a long mmm. “AH, FUCK ME RICHIE” he yelled out as he felt himself near the edge.

Richie pulled out his fingers, which made Eddie whine at the loss. He ripped the condom open with his teeth and rolled it over his dick while he still stroked Eddie’s member. “Still sure you want this?” he fixed his gaze at the smaller buy, who just nodded fanatically.

Eddie couldn’t wait and gripped Richie’s cock and positioned it so that he could slide down. He bit his lip until it bled, but he had to admit he liked the stinging feeling of having something up his ass. “Careful Eds” Richie whispered while he squeezed Eddie’s thigh. Eddie fought back tears but still insisted on going faster. 

Richie tried his best not to thrust his hips upwards and hurt Eddie and stifled his whine insecurely. Eddie had other ideas though. He had his chance to make one of his wet dreams a reality. He wanted to witness Richie being a writhed mess under him, so he did what he did best; being loud and aggressive. 

He bounced on Richie until he was in contact with skin and pulled Richie’s hair harshly until they were face to face. He slammed his lips against the other’s, but accidentally just made their teeth crash together. At that moment, that didn’t matter. Eddie just wanted to explore Richie. His tongue slipped past lips in a heated kiss. They moved in unison with their thrusts, occasional moans slipping past their lips. 

Richie’s hips thrust upwards against his own will and slammed hard into Eddie. “Sorry…” he croaked out as he rested his head against Eddie’s shoulder. “You’re just so fucking hot Eds” His hand ran up the side of Eddie’s torso, clawing at the skin. “Ever since I saw you in those tight shorts when we were ten, I couldn’t stop thinking about what I wanted to do to you”

Eddie started to giggle between pants, however, he tried his best to keep it serious. It backfired completely as he burst out laughing, Richie watched his head fling back with a crazed sound and added: “You know, ah, those shorts left very little to the imagination”. Eddie smacked him across the face playfully, his smile going brighter on his already bright red face. 

“In the sun; shirtless and wet. Eyes closed as you caught your breath from being underwater” Richie described the summer before they defeated the clown, which was the first time he found out he had romantic feelings for Eddie. He had been terrified to look at him that entire summer. It was especially true when Bill had suggested the losers club would go for a swim in the Barrens. He could see the scene clearly in front of him. Eddie had come out of the water and thrown his head back so that his hair would get out of his eyes. It was really hot, Richie had thought at the `innocent` age of 13. 

“I wanted to kiss you right there and then” he admitted fondly while he clawed at Eddie’s ass-cheek in a desperate attempt at getting more friction. “What did I do to deserve you?” 

“Bad jokes and stupid glasses” Eddie responded quickly as if he had rehearsed what to say. He chuckled lightly at Richie’s offended reaction but let the tightness in his abdomen take overhand. A strangled gasp left his lips as he bounced harder onto Richie. He bit the back of his hand to silence himself, in which Richie remover quickly. 

“I want to hear you when you come” Richie pulled the hand down so that Eddie jerked forward. Dull teeth pulled at tan skin; lips sucked tightly on the pressure points to give ultimate pleasure. 

“Fuck, I’m so tired” Eddie mumbled as his movements became sloppier. He ignored how stupid and wanton he sounded, so he let his mouth hang open with every noise that wanted to escape. Richie didn’t seem to mind either. “RICHIE….” He screamed out as he came all over Richie’s hand and chest. Richie milked him for all he was good for but stopped the thrusts. 

Eddie’s vision went dark for a split moment as the sweet relief came. His body felt like a noodle, and he suddenly understood his nickname. His mind felt extremely full for a few seconds, before a cloud of emotions rained down on him all at once. Richie’s chest took most of the beating. Eddie’s fingernails had left red, bleeding marks right underneath his collar bones, but he absolutely had nothing against the streaks that would show people he had made someone come some hard they had nearly met Jesus.

Once Eddie had regained his cognitive abilities, he felt how everything seemed tight. He rode Richie until he too came with a gasp and shedding tears. 

“Fuck Eds, I don’t think I’ve ever come as hard before in my entire life!” Richie panted heavily, almost with the same rhythm as Eddie, who tried to ignore his crying lungs. 

“EWW WHAT THE FUCK” 

Eddie turned around as best he could, since he was still straddling Richie’s hips, with a little, or rather, big something still inside of him. 

Stan stood in the stairs; eyes covered with his hands as he made gagging noises. Eddie tried his best to hide his body, but with little success. “Fuck off Stanley, Eddie's my personal hoe, not yours” Richie protested with too much smugness for his own good.

“MY SWEET INNOCENT EYES” Stan screamed and ran up the ladder. “Yell when you have clothes on!”

Eddie turned back to Richie, who was searching for his glasses on the floor with a limp arm. “Should we fuck with them?” Richie placed the glasses back onto his face once he had found it, which made his eyes triple in size. A smug grin rested on his face, and Eddie knew exactly what he was referring to. 

“YEAH JUST LIKE THAT, FUCK ME HARDER” Richie cried out loudly, at least high enough for Stan to hear from a long radius. 

“OH, DADDY AH” Eddie joined in with a grin on his face. The temptation to burst out laughing was immense, but he resisted. 

“CUM FOR ME MY LITTLE BOY TOY. MAKE DADDY PROUD”

Eddie screeched at the top of his lungs to conceal his laughter. “IF YOU GUYS DON’T SHUT THE FUCK UP I WILL LITERALLY FUCKING KILL MYSELF” Stan yelled from outside the clubhouse. Both boys laughed so hard they started crying. The few seconds Eddie was able to stop himself from laughing he used to moan like a porn-star to disturb the poor man outside. 

“You know we’re out here too…” commented a female voice from outside. 

“I’m burning that hammock afterward” added another voice. Eddie blushed deep red and gazed over at the other, who had a sly smirk on his face. Richie wiggled around while laughing.

“Could you stop squirming so fucking much? You’re still inside of me, asshole”

“I believe the correct sentence would be `you’re still inside of my asshole`”

“Why did I agree to have sex with you….”

“Awe, wittle Eddie embawassed?” Richie teased and pinched Eddie’s cheeks while making a trouty mouth at him. The latter just pouted his lips and crossed his arms in annoyance. “Okay, okay. Just…” 

Eddie lifted himself off Richie with a soft moan. It felt strangely empty, as if having a dick up your ass was normal at that point. He would admit he loved being intimate with Richie, but now he just wanted clothes on, especially since Stan had seen them exposed like that, which was a moment only reserved for each other. He’d have to go to the library later to find a book about how to erase a person’s memory. Or how to get away with murder. 

“Eddie? You alright?” Richie gave him a concerned look and Eddie just nodded. “Yeah, just got my ass pounded. Give me a break Rich” Eddie complained, but smiled at the latter. 

“Now, clothes. I’m cold” Richie slapped Eddie’s ass and practically lifted the boy off him. He pulled off the condom and made a neat little knot before throwing it into a small plastic bag he had in his backpack. Both boys found their clothes, and Eddie intentionally stole Richie’s shirt. To mess with the other losers, he told Richie. To show the other losers Richie had fucked him senseless and that the boy was his, he told himself secretly.

Eddie noticed Richie’s eyes on him as he walked over to get a tissue to clean himself. “What?” he asked. Richie shrugged and looked down at the ground as if guilty. 

“You walk strangely” he commented in a low voice. “Did I hurt you?”. Then it hit him why the other was walking weirdly. He smirked and bit his lip suggestively. “I’m really THAT good at sex?”

“I hate boosting your self-esteem when you already act cocky, but yeah. I have no idea what sex is supposed to feel like, but that shit was really fucking good” Eddie admitted, slightly foul at the way Richie almost radiated visibly with pride. He took Richie’s hand and cleaned the stains of cum on his fingers. Richie flinched his hand away from the tissue, which earned him a confused look from the other. 

To Eddie’s surprise, Richie began licking the cum off his fingers seductively. Eddie stared at him with wide eyes and his arms went limp at his sides. He felt his face grow warm when Richie’s eyes met his in a predatorial way. He embarrassingly gave Richie the tissue and broke the extremely tense eye contact that would for sure make him horny again if he kept staring into those brown, dangerous eyes. 

“YO LOSERS, WE’RE DONE FUCKING!” Richie yelled out as soon as he had gotten the liquid off his hand. He smiled proudly at Eddie, who smacked the back of his head in response. 

Bill was the first to enter, and who told the other losers that the coast was clear. Richie completely understood why the other losers needed reassurance that they still weren’t naked, as both of them had a tendency of trying to embarrass their friends. 

They entered one by one, and they all avoided eye-contact, which Richie definitely didn’t blame them for. once again. Bev was the only one who met his gaze. She smiled in a strange manner, as if saying `good job fucking your childhood crush!`. 

“H-hope you h-have enough m-m-money to p-pay for a therapist for Stan” Bill looked guilty over Stan, who’s eyes were wide and stared blankly at the ground.

“And a brain transplant for me” Ben added. “I’m happy for you though”

Richie put on a terrible British accent and dramatically wrapped his hands around one of the beams that held the clubhouse together. “You’re all just jealous because I get more arse than any of you combined”

“RICHIE” Eddie’s face reddened once again. He hid his face in his hands whilst he slid down to the floor in embarrassment.

“I fucking beg you to shut the fuck up Richie” Stan hissed in a monotone voice as if his brain was trying to have a factory reset.

Luckily for Stan, Mike cut in with wise words. “Let’s just pretend nothing happened”. The losers couldn’t agree more, except for Richie of course. He was still in the fantastic post-sex bliss.

“Anyways… Bill and I brought some board games” Stan wrapped his arm around Bill’s shoulder in a nonverbal mental support kind of way.

“I’ll play if you guys stop touching each other every second” Bev chimed in playfully. She had a soft smile littering her features, which told Richie everything he needed to know. He stepped away from Eddie but held onto his pinkie finger in a small sign of reassurance and love. 

Mike rolled his eyes with a smirk on his face. “Let’s play!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're welcome.
> 
> I'm too poor to afford therapy lessons for you, so this was your own fault...
> 
> YOU GOT THE WARNINGS, SO YOU CAN'T BLAME ME
> 
> Imma go to sleep now...


	6. Game Night!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The losers play Ludo and truth or dare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Long time no see. I sincerely apologize for posting a week late, but I've been sick with a pretty bad fever for the past week, so I haven't really had the motivation to write. I just struggled to write this chapter because I found it hard to write the dialogue between characters in a matter that seemed natural. I'm not completely satisfied with how it turned out, but here you go anyways!

They rigged up a game of Ludo, since monopoly was better off as an endgame because it would just end up ruining their friendship. Richie protested at the game choice, as he proclaimed that the game sucked. Mike used at least 5 minutes just to persuade Richie to play. 

“Come on Rich, it’ll be fun!” Mike encouraged. “We can team up” 

Richie quickly scooted over to Eddie and whispered “mine” with a wide smile. Eddie giggled, and responded “I’m all yours”

In their side-eyes, they could see Stan roll his eyes, but a faint smile lingered on his face. “Let’s just choose who’s on teams”.

The teams ended up with Bill and Stan, Ben and Bev, Richie and Eddie (to no one’s surprise), and Mike volunteering to be alone so that all the colors would be in use. Ben had tried to convince him to join him and Beverly, but Mike just insisted he wanted to win alone, accompanied by a smug grin. 

Ben rolled first. “Yes! A six on the first try!” Bev gave him a very violent high five, clearly already too into it even though they had just started. Stan grabbed the die and shook it with a concentrated look. Just as he was about to throw, Richie made a high moaning noise to set him off. And setting him off wasn’t the only thing it did. 

Stan shuddered and swiftly, but way harder than necessary (in Richie’s opinion) threw the die at him and hit him square in the jaw.

Eddie’s mouth flung open and his head snapped up to face Stan. “What the fuck Stan-”

Richie cut him off by yelling “Ayy, you got a six!”, to which Stan gave him a `you should be lucky I didn’t get a five or else I would’ve beat your ass` kind of look. Richie was grateful the die was on his team today. And now he needed the cooperation, because it was his and Eddie’s turn. 

“You got this Richie! And if you don’t, you won’t get a kiss” Eddie threatened, to which Richie gasped loudly and made a face. 

“My Spaghettward! What an outrageous dilemma!” Richie did a ninja pose and exhaled in pure concentration. He rolled the die with much anticipation. It spun on an edge on the floor for several seconds while all his friends watched anxiously. It stopped, showing two dots. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” Richie sat back down on the floor with a slump and frowned deeply. No kisses for him today. 

To his surprise, and much delight, Eddie leaned over and kissed his cheek. Richie perked up immediately and moved their play piece. “It's for at least trying” Eddie explained, smiling shyly at Richie. 

“Jesus you guys. Never imagined you as a sappy couple” Bev shook her head in the same manner Stan was so notorious of doing when Eddie and Richie did something mildly inconvenient. 

Eddie smirked at the comment and pecked Richie’s lips quickly. Richie made an inhuman screech and threw his hands in the air. “Just because I wanted to” Eddie explained, but got muted by Richie blissfully yelling “EDDIE I AM IN LOVE”.

In the meantime, Mike took the die and tried to ignore Richie repeatedly kissing Eddie's cheek with loud smooching sounds. He didn’t know if it was to throw him off or if this was just how they acted like a couple. It did make sense for them to act this way, especially Richie. Eddie seemed weirdly comfortable with him though, which seemed slightly strange. 

They continued playing like normal, which for the losers was different from what a normal people’s Ludo game would look like. Because everyone could agree that the losers club weren’t quite in the normal people category. A normal game for them included Stan rolling his eyes more than the die, Richie chocking on a game piece with Eddie performing the Heimlich maneuver on him, both Bill and Ben forgetting they’re in the room because they’re busy getting lost in Bev’s green eyes and Mike absolutely being fire at playing.

“No way M-Mike, you a-a-always win!” Bill protested as Mike asked if they wanted to have a second run. Mike just shrugged and packed the game into the cardboard box with a proud smile on his face. 

“Maybe Monopoly would’ve been a better pick” Richie ran his hands through Eddie’s hair as they sat halfway on top of each other.

“Really Rich? The one game infamous for ruining people’s friendships?” Bev shot him a glare and then down at the monopoly cardboard box

“Come on Bev! It’s not that bad” Richie protested, but Bev just raised her hand to silence the boy from speaking any further. 

“N-no. A-and that’s t-the final dec-cision” Bill shot in, took the Monopoly game and placed it back into the bag with the other games they had. Richie sent him a sour look, but shrugged it off and hugged Eddie tighter, in which Eddie was delighted by. 

“What about just a simple truth or dare?” Ben suggested instead. He knew Bev and Richie would end up daring each other some crazy shit back and forwards. It was fun to see anyway, so he took the risk. 

“Fuck yeah!” Bev and Richie yelled at the same time. “I’ll start!” Bev closed her eyes and pointed around, finger landing on Stan. 

“Well, fuck, here we go” Stan braced himself.

“Stanley, truth or dare” Bev smiled devilishly, fingers woven together in show-game host manner. 

“Truth” he played it safe, which he knew he had to do when it came to Bev. She had absolutely no mercy when they played truth or dare, you could ask Richie about that. He had eaten way too many strange and non-edible things. 

“Do you have a crush on Patty Blum?” Stan looked down at the ground with a pink tint littering his face, which answered her question. Bill watched with a strange expression on his face that only Eddie noticed. 

Stan cleared his throat before choosing Mike as his `victim`. He chose dare, which meant he trusted Stan, but in the context of truth or dare, it was hard to be trusted. “I dare you to eat a jar of pickles”. Everyone knew how much Mike hated pickles, so everyone laughed and encouraged Mike to do it. Bill went over to the fridge they had stolen from the junkyard and pulled out a small jar of pickles, which was only half full. 

Mike opened the jar and took out a single pickle. Just the smell made him cringe. He took a single, small bite of the pickle and screeched at the taste. “How am I supposed to eat that!” Mike held the pickle as far away from his face as he could, but the others just shrugged and told him he had to at least eat one of them. 

“Okay, Richie. Truth or dare before I vomit” Mike took another teensy weensy bite of the pickle, giving the same disgusted reaction as last time. 

Richie, being the absolute feral little boy he was, picked dare. Mike had to think for a moment for the most horrible thing he could come up with. “I dare you to drink the pickle juice from the jar,” Mike thought he was smart, but little did he know that Richie had prepared for this moment. 

Richie pulled out a plastic cup from a bag and poured the juice from the jar into it, making sure none of the pickles followed suit. He took one quick blowjob-shot and downed it all. Impressed glares met him as he muttered “good shit” and placed the cup onto a log. 

“Didn’t expect you to do that” Mike admitted as he struggled to eat the small pickle he had. 

“Are you kidding? I looove pickle juice” Richie said sarcastically as he licked his lips. “Enough of that. Bev, Beaver, Beverly. Your turn. Truth or dare honey?”

“I’ll go with a solid truth this time.”

“Alrighty then Marsh, would you rather get mauled to death by a goose or have sex with a monkey?” Richie smiled at Bev, but she quickly shot back at him. 

“Killed by a goose, obviously.” Bev grinned at Richie, as he had not really expected her to answer that quickly. 

Ben and Mike shared a look. “How is that obvious?” Ben asked carefully.

“Well, how are you going to live with the fact that you’ve fucked a monkey when you can live a good life and get killed by a goose when you’re 100 years old?” Bev had a tendency of being the only person in the group who could figure out Richie’s dilemmas. The others would’ve probably answered the monkey, but not thinking over that he never gave them a time that it had to happen.

“Correct answer miss” Richie praised her and grabbed Eddie's hands to clap. “Now, who will be your next victim?”

Bev took a moment to look around in the room with squinted eyes. “Bill, feeling lucky?” Bill shook his head, but Bev asked the burning question anyway.

“T-truth”

“What’s your go-to song in the shower”

Bill looked away embarrassingly, but answered “ I-Ice ice baby b-by Vanilla Ice”. He looked down in shame, but the other losers agreed that it was a good song to sing in the shower. Bill quickly moved onto Ben, who was the second final one not to be asked. “B-ben, t-truth or dare?”

“I’m feeling brave, so I’m going to say dare?” Ben admitted. He knew the losers liked him too much to make him do anything cruel, so it didn’t really matter what he picked. Bill had to take a moment to think and pointed a finger in the air once he had made his decision.

“I d-dare you to pick up a b-b-book and read it in the most s-seductive way possible” Bill just wanted to see him read one of Richie’s comic books to see his reaction, but the seductive part of the challenge just slipped out accidentally. 

Ben took the challenge and scooted over to where a box of comic books were stacked. He picked up the first one he found, which was a RE:GEX comic book. The cover itself was very suggestive, with a blonde woman showing a lot of skin in a small bikini, awkwardly squatting over some skulls.

“Here we go” he muttered, opened a random page and began reading the first dialogue box he saw in the most seductive voice he could manage. He read about two of them until he was sure everyone was screaming with laughter and on the verge of crying. Once the laughter had died down, he noted “Richie, honestly, I have no idea how you’re gay with the amount of naked girls you’ve seen in these comics” to which everyone was at the floor at again. 

“Real naked boys are better” Richie smirked at Eddie, who smacked him in the back of the head. Eddie's face turned bright red and Richie pinched his cheeks with a bright smile.

“Moving on… Eddie, truth or dare?” Ben put the comic back in the stack and scooted back into the circle. 

Richie kept whispering dare in Eddie’s ear, so he gave up and said “dare I guess.”

“I dare you… I’m going to go easy on you. You just have to kiss Richie, to celebrate your new relationship.” Ben had always been one for appreciating newfound love, as he knew the two of them had been in love for a long time. He had a bet with Bill that they would confess their feelings for each other later than they had. It was a bet he was happy to lose. 

Richie smiled widely and internally thanked Ben for being his wingman in disguise. He pursed his lips and made a kissy mouth at Eddie, who looked at him in disgust. “Your breath fucking stinks.” 

“Fuck you, Eddie. You never appreciate me!” Richie dramatically threw his arm over his forehead. 

“Excuse me? I think I’m a very great boyfriend, thank you very much. And I know even Bowers would be jealous!” Eddie huffed out his chest proudly and crossed his arms as if he was offended, which he wasn’t. He didn’t get the reaction he wanted from Richie though, as he expected to be a lame joke about how his mom was better. What he got was a sad look. Furrowed brows and thoughtful eyes that slowly sunk to the floor. “What’s wrong Rich? It was just a joke”

“Nothing, I just…” Richie’s eyes darted to the opening of the clubhouse, and Eddie sensed there was something very wrong with his choice of words. “Just, excuse me for a moment” he scrambled off of the floor and ran out of the clubhouse. 

“Richie!” Eddie yelled after him in concern, but the boy was already gone. The only evidence of him even having been in the clubhouse was the wind of dust that danced in the air after his movements. There was also his backpack, which still stood leaned up to a box. 

“Is everything okay between you guys?” Stan asked, a hint of worry in his tone. He wasn’t one for worrying about the two of them, since he had had more than enough of their rambling over the years. It was just something about Richie’s face that evoked a certain curiosity in what the hell was going on. 

“Let them sort it out. I think Richie has a lot on his mind recently” Bev said as if she knew something the other losers didn’t.


	7. Convert my mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie runs after Richie and adds another person to his murder list (which he actually has).
> 
> Tw: reference to bully encounter and very light sexual content.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now in these fantastic corona times, I get more time to write and do all the other stuff I feel like doing. Yet I have an extreme writers-block! Enjoy the chapter.

“RICHIE” 

Eddie ran through the forest as quickly as his feet allowed him. He wanted his mind to reflect over his words, and to find out what was wrong, but the worry that clouded his mind prevented it. 

The trees passed him like cars on a highway. Leaves crunched under his vans while his eyes scanned the woods desperately for Richie.

Then it hit him.

Bowers.

Something must’ve happened before Richie came to the clubhouse earlier. Something that may or may not include the Bowers gang. 

The bruise on Richie’s ribs. 

His mind became clouded in disgust for that awful human who dared to lay a finger on his Richie.

He noticed a hunched over shape in the distance which he hoped was Richie. As he approached, Richie turned away from him in either embarrassment or guilt, which was Eddie’s best guesses for now. He gasped as he rounded the corner of the tree. 

Richie let out an ugly sob while tears stained the knees of his jeans. His ribs hurt as he gasped for air. The crunch of leaves made him flinch away, but calmed down once he saw it was Eddie. Eddie wrapped an arm around him. In response, Richie clung to him like a lifeline. Tears streamed down his face as he tried to formulate sentences, or even anything at all.

Eddie was taken aback by the reaction and asked “H-hey. What’s wrong?”. Richie’s sobs became louder and he muttered a single name Eddie was sure to add to his murder list.

“H-Henry B-Bow” Richie took a deep, choked breath “Bowers”

Eddie’s blood boiled at the mention of that asshole of a person. He clenched his fists until they hurt, especially his right one, since the pain meds had stopped working by then. “What did he do?” He asked quietly through clenched teeth. 

Eddie wiped away a tear from Richie’s cheek, and Richie started explaining. “H-he said if he ever saw us together, he would beat us and make each other watch. Or torture us until we would beg him for mercy” His words were torn and muffled as his fists balled Eddie's t-shirt. “I don’t want you to get hurt!”

Eddie put his hand under Richie’s chin and tilted his head upwards until they made eye-contact. “Bowers wouldn’t dare to touch you”. His voice was way calmer than he was internally. It felt like only seconds before he would stand up, shout, and kill Henry Bowers with that damned switchblade of his. By then it didn’t matter if he would’ve killed someone because he knew he would’ve done the entire city a favor. 

“No Eddie. You don’t understand” Richie sniffed and wiped some tears away with the back of his hand. “I don’t give a fucking shit about what happens to me, as long as you’re safe and far away from that asshole”. He gripped onto the edge of Eddie’s shirt. Well, his, but it felt right to call it Eddie’s. It was embarrassing to cry like this, especially when Eddie insisted on having his face on full display. “I’m sorry you have to see me like this. I’m probably so fucking ugly right now” He broke the eye contact with Eddie and resorted to a very interesting yellow leaf on the ground. 

“What? No!” Eddie protested with a harsher tone than he intended. He hated that Richie flinched away from his touch, so he tried to lighten the situation with an innocent joke. “I have never seen a man so sexy with tears in his eyes” He wiggled his eyebrows, but it didn’t quite hit right with the other, so he added “and a runny nose”

Richie let out a whimper of a laugh, but it was better than the flinching, Eddie thought. “And if Henry comes in the way, I’ll rip his balls off and feed them to Stan’s birds” he cupped Richie’s cheek and gave him the softest smile he managed. Richie’s made a slightly intimidated scoff and got Eddie confused again. “What?”

“If you keep talking like that, I’ll have an orgasm imagining about you being sexy as shit while murdering a guy” Richie bit his lip with a smirk, but still had tears falling down his cheeks. Eddie blushed in response and mentally slapped Richie and himself, in that order. 

“Richie… Please be serious”. 

In reality, Eddie didn’t want Richie to be serious. He wanted the witty comments and horrible jokes. He wanted the unproblematic life they had before as children, where their biggest threat was getting cooties from girls. He wanted to be a young and innocent child again. But now they were on the run from family and soon friends. For what? Love? Each other? Eddie wasn’t quite sure anymore. He just knew that he couldn’t back down.

“You know I can’t do that Eds” Richie leaned into Eddie’s touch and bumped his forehead to the other, before slumping down to the shoulder. Of course, Richie couldn’t be serious. It was like jokes were written into his DNA and all his cells. Eddie gave him a pat on the neck, a soft chuckle. “It’s the only coping mechanism I have”

“At least you don’t do other things…” 

“Yeah, I guess” Richie ran a finger up the collar of Eddie’s shirt in an attempt to ground himself from the terrible emotions that tore on his way too thin skin. “I’m just so used to making jokes about your mom to hide my feelings for you. I guess I just need to realize I’m not as funny as I think I am”.

“Oh, Richie… I have never hated your jokes. I was just scared to laugh, because you always gave me that face of pride when I laughed that I fell in love with”.

“You know, a joke was never really successful if you didn’t laugh.” Richie smiled at all the fond memories of Eddie at different ages rolling his eyes at Richie’s jokes. It was at rare occasions where he would actually laugh at them, but most of the time he would just try to conceal his smile. Richie could see it anyways, since Eddie was terrible at hiding stuff. “I’ve always looked over at you to see if you laughed, or even smiled. It was the only thing that mattered”

Eddie took a moment to gaze into Richie’s big, amplified eyes, loving the innocence in them despite his nature. They were all puffy and red, but he didn’t mind. It just made them look even larger in the already too big glasses that he had never quite grown into. “You’re adorable” slipped past his lips involuntarily, but it was already too late. 

A soft smile grazed Richie’s lips as he hugged the smaller boy tighter. “But about what I said earlier; I am truly happy when I’m with you”. Eddie nodded and whispered an agreement.

They sat still for a few minutes where they just held each other and rocked gently from side to side. It reminded Richie of what his mother had done with him when he had meltdowns as a child. She would hug him around the waist while standing and carefully mutter reassurances to him while he tried to calm down from whatever had happened previously that had made him so upset. It was one of the few good memories he had from his mother. The rest were not particularly bad, just forgettable. 

A light breeze made Eddie shiver, even though the temperature outside was still pretty reasonable. “Should we go inside?” Richie slurred out as if he was on the verge of falling asleep. Eddie grabbed the other’s hand and intertwined their fingers. It felt nice holding Richie like this. Showing emotions and being honest. It was freeing, calming too. “Okay, never mind” he purred and got cozier in Eddie’s embrace. 

A pang of lust hit Eddie like a damn truck. A very familiar warmth spread in his abdomen as he readjusted himself. `fuck it` he thought to himself. 

He pushed Richie back against the tree and sat down on his lap with a hand on the other's chest. Richie let out an intimidated whine as he had done earlier. “I want a kiss” Eddie commanded.

“Why?”

“Please?”

Richie smiled widely and cupped his cheek affectionately. “Only for you, my little Teddy” he carefully planted a kiss on Eddie’s lips, but Eddie wanted none of that fragile bullshit anymore. 

He sneaked an arm around Richie’s neck and deepened the kiss. He explored Richie’s mouth with his tongue, earning him a low whine, deep from the other’s throat. What he didn’t expect was the wetness that slid down his own cheek. He pulled back to see Richie once again crying.

“Hey, are you okay?” He kept his arm around Richie and put his other bandaged hand on his own thigh.

“Yeah Eds” Richie gave him a weak smile, that quickly turned into a wide grin. “I just… Fuck. I love you so much, Eddie”

“Love you too Richard” Eddie meant for it to sound serious, but he would never be able to call Richie `Richard` without at least scoffing teasingly. Richie pulled back from him but ended up just hitting his head against the birch tree behind him. 

“Please never call me Richard again” He groaned in annoyance as he rubbed the back of his head in pain. It stung for sure, but he convinced himself he would’ve forgotten about it in just a few minutes. 

“Oh okay, I’m sorry” Eddie was glad Richie was looking away because he knew he had the most revealing expression on his face ever. He had the opportunity to mess with the boy who had messed with him for years, and he was in no way going to pass that. “Richard”

“FUCKING STOP” 

“On a more serious note, you want to stay? Or walk inside?” 

“I think my ass has become an ice block and the other losers probably just think we’re having sex… so let’s go inside” Richie slid Eddie off of him and gave him a hand to stand up. Eddie was hesitant. He didn’t want to go. 

“Okay, I low-key wanted you to say `stay`” Eddie admitted quietly.

“I low-key wanted that too” Richie impersonated the way Eddie had said low-key. At that moment, it just felt right to make a joke that would fly over Eddie’s head. “Let’s stay for a few more minutes”

Eddie sat back down and patted the space next to him with a soft smile. It was a disguise, he told himself. Because it took him extreme willpower not to drag Richie down by the collar and slam their lips together. Richie laid down next to his love, his mouth twitching in anticipation. He sensed something in Eddie’s eyes that told him he had other intentions than to innocently cuddle. 

Eddie leaned down and placed a soft kiss on the other’s lips, his hands resting on the bony but firm chest. “Hey, Richie…”

“What is it, my love?”

A hand traveled down to Richie’s thigh unexpectedly. “Oh” 

“Maybe we could” Richie met Eddie’s eyes, which were filled with yet again unexpected lust. It was definitely a look he wanted to get used to, but one that would kill him for sure. It was one of the many moments he wanted to photograph and hang on his wall while he jerked off, but now he knew that it wouldn’t have been like a weird stalker thing like it had been before. *cough cough…

“Fuck, this is the best day ever” Richie breathed out and grinned widely. He leaned back onto the grass and put his hands behind his head. “Do whatever you want to me!”

“Okay,” Eddie got off Richie and started to walk away to the clubhouse.

“Wait what?” He shot up from the ground and sat on his knees instead. “Are you just going to leave me like this??? I already have a boner and it’s your fault!” The only response got was an evil laughter in the distance. By the volume, he could tell Eddie wasn’t far away, and mentally screamed to himself that he should chase after him. He knew to some degree that Eddie wanted to play hard to get and be irresistible to him, because that was his way of teasing.

Richie did a pro gamer move. A moan escaped his lips and he pleaded for him to come back to him. From the corner of his eye, he could see Eddie freeze in his tracks with a shiver. “Please, Eddie… I need you”

Eddie’s steps became increasingly longer as he strode back to his lover. He would never admit that Richie turned him on, to keep Richie’s ego down. He was surprised the boy’s head hadn’t exploded with pride. 

Richie pulled him down by the collar of his shirt. His warm breath made Eddie want to do very unholy things, but his reasonable side told him otherwise. “Fuck me Eddie” he purred into Eddie’s ear, sliding the shirt off his shoulders in a single movement. “Like every wind fantasy of yours come true”

"I- I don't, um, have..." Eddie stumbled over his own words as pictures popped up in his head. Imaginary pictures that had a chance to become not-so-imaginary. 

This was going to be Eddie’s doom.


	8. Reassure me, love me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut again my dudes, but toned down this time compared to the previous one. Read with caution if smut triggers you.

“Richie… I’ve never done that before” Eddie felt the heat grow in his cheeks, and something else he had to take care of later, but he was sure Richie would help him with it. 

“So, what we did hours ago was just a dream” 

“N-no” Oh lord how red he was. It was tempting to run away, but stay close to see/hear what Richie’s reaction or further action would be. By his guess, it would be irritated muttering followed by a quick hand-job by himself, or acceptance with a slow stride back to the clubhouse. Yet he would never pass an opportunity like this. “I have never been on top before”

“You were on top of me earlier…” It may have been unintentional, but Eddie could hear the smile in Richie’s voice. Richie wanted him to talk dirty and played dumb even though he knew exactly what Eddie meant.

“Richie, you know what I mean” Eddie hissed out. His tone softened though, as he realized the matter in hand. “I just don’t want to hurt you”.

“Don’t worry Eds, I want you to fuck me so hard I forget my name.” Richie took on nibbling on Eddie’s ear to occupy himself while he was still terribly hard. He would go slow, of course, but he had to do something to try to ignore his aching. 

“B-but the lube. You’ll get hurt! Badly hurt!” Eddie protested, but Richie just shook his head against Eddie’s. He tensed up at the possibility of him hurting the one he loved, yet Richie seemed determined to get what he wanted. Eddie didn’t blame the boy at all, as he knew a lot of sexual tension was built up in him after years of suppression. Eddie had some too, but maybe not to the same extent. He had never really thought about his feelings for Richie until they fought Pennywise, and then it became crystal clear.

“It’s worth it for you baby” Richie had a tendency of trying way too hard to make Eddie blush, in which he absolutely succeeded at doing. He bit his lip seductively too, just to get that extra kick in Eddie’s already flush face. “I want you” he leaned in closer, hands on Eddie’s sides. “Inside of me."Their faces were mere inches apart. Eddie could feel Richie's warm breath hover over his skin like smoke. 

Eddie was still hesitant, but the devil on his shoulder, which sounded eerily similar to Bev, told him `you’ll regret not doing it Eddie, you’ll only live once! You even get to do whatever you want to Richie, which is a great addition! `. But the angel discouraged him. The voice of the angel sounded like his mom, saying all this horrible stuff about him and all the diseases he could get. He hated it. 

“Fuck it” Richie didn’t even have time to react before Eddie slammed their lips together. 

“mmm, why did we even put our clothes on again…” Richie mumbled into the kiss as his hands roamed Eddie's body freely. 

Eddie pulled back from the kiss and let out a light chuckle. “Yeah." He didn’t even care how breathy his voice sounded anymore. He wanted to fuel Richie’s pride over having sex again, but not so much that he would rant about it to the other losers afterward. Some part of Eddie knew that Richie didn’t do it for the experience, he did it for Eddie’s satisfaction. The extremely personal moment with the one you love, where you are so scarily vulnerable.

Hands moved down Richie’s thighs, and Eddie’s lips went down to the cutting jawline. He slowly made his way down to the neck and gently sucked the pale skin. He got a loud moan from Richie as he but the flesh right above his sharp collarbone. 

“Jesus Eddie! Just fuck me already!” Richie cried out. His hips arched involuntarily towards Eddie, who squeezed his thigh in an attempt to keep the taller boy still in his grip

“Only good boys get what they want”

“Aren’t I good?” Richie asked innocently. Eddie would’ve made a lame joke about how he was the worst and all that jazz, but he was too caught up in the moment. Rather, he bit at Richie’s neck while his hand ran up the inside of his thighs. “Ah, Eddie!” Richie hissed at the contact and threw his head back. 

“Why don’t you take your clothes off, hmm?” Richie didn’t have to be told twice as he almost literally ripped his clothes off until he was down to only his underwear. In the process, he knocked off his glasses again, but when he tried to pick them up, Eddie smacked his hand away. “You don’t need those anymore”.

“I wanna see you while you fuck me to bits”

“I’ll just have to be really close to you then” He leaned closer to Richie’s face, and first then noticed the blush that had spread over his pale skin. “Can you see me now” Richie nodded, and kissed the side of Eddie’s mouth.

“Okay, n-not really. But it's good enough for me” He admitted, but saw the wide smile on Eddie’s face. 

Eddie grabbed hold of Richie’s shoulder and pushed him down onto the grass with a little more force than intended. Richie seemed weirdly nervous for someone who hit a killer clown in the head with a bat when they were 13. 

“Hey, are you okay Richie?” Eddie tilted Richie’s chin upwards to meet his eyes. Richie gave him a nod and a smile, a truly happy and vulnerable smile. “I’ll be gentle with you”

“I trust you”

“Just tell me if you feel uncomfortable” Eddie ran his hands down Richie’s chest and landed on the dark bruise on his ribs. Richie flinched slightly at the touch, though he tried to conceal it the best he could. Eddie’s eyes lowered onto the bruise. He could still see the knuckle imprint of who he assumed was Henry Bower’s fist. 

He didn’t have time to think about Bowers, but let himself verbally express his anger in the shortest rant he’d ever have in his life “I’m going to fucking kill that asshole before we leave this town.” He took a deep breath. “Screw him”

“I’d rather you screw me, but you do you. Or do me…” Richie rubbed at his eyes in discomfort. He only ever took his glasses off when he slept or was at the optometrist, so having had them removed for so long during a day made his eyes burn and head hurt. But now was one of the only times he didn’t mind a hangover-like headache. “My brain is mushy” 

“Is it okay if I remove your underwear?” Eddie’s hand traveled down to the waistband as he noticed his fingers still grazed the bruise on Richie’s chest, but it was something he’d have to ignore for now and rather push the murder plans to another time. 

“Absolutely” Richie answered in an instant, as if his thoughts were at a quicker phase than Eddie's. “B-but could you maybe take off some of your own clothes too?” He looked back at their previous time getting it on, and realized that Eddie was fully naked before he had even gotten his shirt off. He didn’t know if he felt embarrassed or anxious. They had sex just hours ago, and Richie knew it felt really good then, but he still felt slightly weird about it.

Eddie sensed the other was anxious, so he cupped Richie’s cheek, which he found out earlier made him instantly calmer for some weird reason. He decided not to ask him about it, but rather keep it to himself in case he needed the trick for a more serious occasion.

When Richie smiled, Eddie knew it was a nonverbal sign that he had taken the time he needed to process his feelings. Eddie began taking off his clothes, except for his boxers. The shirt he had stolen from Richie was already off, so he didn’t need to worry about that one. Richie sat back and watched Eddie with adoring eyes, as if he had seen God, or at least something up that lane. 

As his clothes were gone, Eddie kissed Richie’s cheek and looked at him with the same kind of adoration. “Can I?” he looked down at Richie’s lap, who had a very pronounced tent built up in his underwear. Richie nodded and changed his position so Eddie could easier pull both their underwear off. Richie was suddenly very aware that they were about to have sex on grass as it tickled his legs and thighs. 

“God, you’re beautiful” Eddie whispered while running his thumb over the other’s cheek. Richie looked away with a tint of red in his cheeks. He rarely felt embarrassment, as he had done a lot of weird shit in his life. It seemed like Eddie made him soft, as opposed to his usually hard exterior, no pun intended. 

Eddie kissed Richie’s temple, which made Richie’s brain feel mushy again. He could feel the rapidly beating pulse in his throat, but he tried to remind himself that he had nothing to worry about. He was safe with Eddie, and he got the reassurance several times that he would never be hurt by the other. 

“Please Eddie” he grabbed a hold of Eddie’s hands, mindful of the bandaged one.

“Hmm?” Eddie smiled with those hollowed eyes that Richie wanted to see so many more times in his life. It was a huge difference from the extremely careful and sexually repressed kid Richie knew. It was a nice change. Very nice, he might even say.

Richie was about to burst. He honestly couldn’t take `sexy Eddie`. He was still just an anxious gay teenager who had no control of himself or his body. “I WANT YOUR SPAGHETTI INSIDE ME! MEATBALLS DEEP, YOUR PASTA SAUCE ALL OVER ME!” He fucked up big time and made the lamest joke ever. Luckily, Eddie burst out laughing at the strange wordplay. It was a relief, to say the least, since Richie tended of ruining whatever mood was present, no matter serious or not. 

“Time out dickhead” Eddie shoved playfully at Richie’s chest as he still struggled to calm down from the absolutely horrible joke. And he couldn’t even stress at how horrible it was, because it was truly and utterly horrendous. He didn’t even know why he was laughing, because it was in no way, shape or form funny. Yet it was something that made sense for Richie to say in such a situation. 

“I’m sorry, Eddie… I’m still a little nervous” Richie admitted, both to Eddie and to the part to himself who told him it wasn’t okay to feel that way. The demon inside him told him he was being a pussy for feeling weird in front of Eddie. Another part of him said it was because it wasn’t normal for boys to be doing such things with each other, but he pushed the feeling down and proceeded as if he didn’t feel anything. 

“It’s okay Richie,” Eddie reassured as always. He knew reassurance was important, especially to Richie, but the boy would probably never admit it. “Here, why don’t you sit on my lap?”

Richie repositioned himself quickly so that he sat on Eddie’s thighs. He was still painfully aware of how hard he was, but tried to sit in a way that there wouldn’t be any unnecessary pressure on his member. 

“You can still back down if you don’t want to” Eddie held a light hand to Richie’s back to steady him, as he seemed to be lightly swaying from side to side. 

“Is this my clue that you don’t want this?” 

“That wasn’t what I said”

“I know, but I just thought-”

Before Richie was able to finish his thoughts, Eddie interrupted him with a light tug at the hair on his neck. “Just shut up and kiss me, alright? Take it from there”

Now, kissing was something Richie was acquainted with if you counted their quick kisses the two extremely awkward ones he had with a girl inside the janitor's closet in middle school. That relationship ended pretty quickly, but he did at least learn what not to do.

When Richie reconnected their lips, his mind was strangely clear. He kept in mind every inch of both his and Eddie’s body as their lips moved in a singular, pulsating rhythm. His hands found their way to Eddie’s back, which he was sure still had nail-marks from their last time getting it on. He wanted more of those marks n Eddie’s skin, so he moved down to the curve of Eddie’s back. His palms moved over the smooth skin, mapping it out like his life depended on it. 

Eddie eventually broke the kiss to breathe. He took deep breaths from his mouth, making it hang open. An almost silent promise of love slipped from his lips, but he was sure Richie wouldn’t have heard it. 

Apparently, Eddie isn’t always correct. 

“I love you too Eddie. More than words will ever describe” Jeez, when did he become so sappy? Might as well stick with the theme, he thought. “You’re absolutely amazing, and I wish I could say it so often that it got stuck in that little noggin of yours”

“God, I wish you could make me come with words” Eddie’s hands fell on Richie’s ass, which he told himself was an `accident`. It definitely wasn’t. It wasn’t an accident at all, but it was where his hands wanted to go, so he blamed them, not his brain. 

“Could always try phone sex?” Richie suggested with a wide smirk, but the idea fell flat in Eddie’s mind. 

“Nah, I like it better when I can see all of you and touch you” 

Richie’s breath hitched in his throat when he noticed the hands on his butt. How long had they been there???

“Now, would you like to finish what we started?” Eddie purred as he gave Richie’s butt a firm squeeze. Richie nodded jitterily, as if he had gotten an electric shock. Richie moved closer on Eddie’s lap and ground their members together. He let out a high-pitched moan in hopes of Eddie becoming even harder than he already was. From Eddie’s pained expression, he assumed he had succeeded, but he could do both of them one better. He knew the boy liked verbal descriptions of what he wanted, so that’s just what he did. 

“Fuck me Eddie” he hissed out, eyes going hollow as he had seen Eddie do before. He probably didn’t look as seductive doing it, but it was a good enough attempt. “Fuck me until I scream your name and forget my own” 

“Anything else?”

Richie took a moment to think. He never really thought about there being variations in sex. He kind of always imagined it would be the standard penetration with nothing else. His mind was completely empty, so he came up with the most convincing excuse he could on the go. “Oh, well my list is too long and most of it would probably freak you out”. Nice save Tozier. 

“Try me” Eddie smirked. Oh lord, Richie was in trouble. He had two alternatives: say something completely normal and innocent, or go completely apeshit with all sorts of weird kinks. It seemed like Eddie just wanted to do everything his mom would not have approved of, which Richie was infinitely grateful for in this context.

“Well, um.” Think Richie, think! Quick, what turns you on??? “Pull my hair, grab my hips and fuck me hard” he blurted out. “and then I mean HARD”

“That’s not very freaky though” 

“Okay, Jesus. You want freaky?” Oh lord, he was open to do whatever the hell he wanted, but he didn’t want to wreck the little amount of innocence that was left in the boy. He didn’t even know if he was ready for all of this. To hell with it, he thought. “I want you to choke me, bite, scratch and tie me down until I have no control over what you do to me”

“Are you sure?” 

IS HE SURE? NO. What he had really started to question was Eddie’s self-proclaimed innocence. There was no way in hell Eddie was a virgin, even though he had even claimed he had never even jerked off. Wait, he wasn’t… Still, it was a little too kinky for a `second sex` attempt.

“I want you to tear me the fuck apart baby” No backing down now, Richie thought. Well, he could still back down, but he knew he’d feel guilty on Eddie’s part. And his dick.

“But what about the lube Rich?” Instead of responding, Richie spat on his hand as an example. Eddie cringed, but shook his head in an attempt to tell himself that it would be the best way.

“You know what?” Crossed his arms over his chest sternly. “No way I’m gonna have sex with you using spit as a fucking lubricant.”

“So, hand-job?”

“Jesus Richie. What I meant is that I’ll run into the clubhouse and grab your bag or something, just, no spit, please” Richie slid off Eddie so that he could stand up and put his clothes on. 

Eddie’s hard and very sensitive length rubbed against the fabric of the boxers as he put his clothes on again, which felt fairly weird as they hadn’t even gotten it on properly yet. He took Richie’s shirt and tied it around his waist in an attempt to hide his raging boner through his not-so-very concealing shorts. It was a good enough attempt, but he hoped the boner would go down while he walked through the forest.

Unfortunately, that didn’t happen. He did make a fair attempt as flattening his hair and take deep breaths so that his face wouldn't be so flushed anymore.

He walked down the stairs of the clubhouse with the feeling of everyone’s eyes on him. `Please don’t say anything, please don’t say anything, please don’t say anything`

“Is Richie alright?” Damn it, Ben had to be the worried mom he always was. Eddie wouldn’t blame him though, since he was a very caring person and cared deeply for his friends. 

“Yeah, he’s just a little homesick” Eddie excused with a surprisingly convincing tone. The other losers seemed to buy it too, as they didn’t question him further.

He snatched the bottle of lube plus a few condoms, just to be sure. He wrapped all of it in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt that he also used to cover his crotch. 

“Aren’t you guys staying for a game of Risk?” Mike commented just as Eddie was about to open the door again to leave. 

“We’ll be right back. Richie tripped into a river and I gotta bring him a dry pair of clothes” He was sure he busted them in the act, since his voice had the audacity to crack in the middle of his sentence. 

“We have towels in the box by the hammock” Stan gave him a weird look, as if he had connected the dots. Still, he pointed over to the small box opposite to the hammock. Eddie nodded and pretended to take a towel when the other losers had looked away. 

Once he made his escape, he sighed through clenched teeth. He wanted nothing more than to reach down his shorts and relieve himself, but he knew Richie was waiting for him. 

He crossed the small distance from the clubhouse to their hiding spot. His steps got increasingly longer and faster as he approached the tree they had sat by. He saw the familiar black mop of hair and slowed down to hide the sound of his footsteps. Richie’s eyes were closed and mouth half-open. It was a good look, for sure. 

“You asleep?” Eddie joked, but it seemed like Richie had actually fallen asleep. He took a moment to admire Richie’s features without him wearing those ugly glasses, which had even thicker lenses that those he had worn before. It was the small details like his uneven freckles, dark lashes, kissable lips, and all-around pretty facial structure. 

Eddie sat down quietly beside him and carefully caressed Richie’s cheek. After a while, Richie stirred with a jerk. 

He rubbed his eyes with the back of his hands and took a moment to look around at the dense forest. “Where am I?” he whispered to himself, unknowing that Eddie was with him. 

“Forest” Eddie replied, making Richie jump again since he didn’t expect anyone to reply. 

“Shit Eds, I’m sorry.” He took a look at the scenery. Alright, forest, obviously. They were sat by some huge pine trees. He was naked. Why was he naked? “Wait, what were we doing?”

“We were about to um, have sex. But I think you could use some sleep instead” Eddie handed him his clothes, along with a t-shirt he picked up in the clubhouse. Richie pouted and Eddie rolled his eyes at the absolute baby in front of him. “Come on, put them on”. Richie groaned in protest, but snatched the clothes from Eddie.

“At least I don’t have a boner anymore” Richie muttered angrily. Eddie gave him a weird look, but shrugged it off and found Richie’s shoes. "But you still do, don't ya Eds" Richie poked at Eddie's hip and Eddie smacked his hand away.

“For another time, alright? Let’s get inside” Eddie picked up the rest of the used clothes and grabbed Richie’s hand. Richie stood completely still, staring at his feet, a sad expression on his face. “What’s wrong?”

“Something took a shit on my shoe…”


	9. Don't cry when we say goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know what day it is anymore...

Eddie woke up with a pair of limp arms around his waist and a warm, slow-moving chest pressed to his back. There was a sound of quiet breathing by his ear, as well as soft curls tickling his neck. 

This was the day they would be free. Yet there was a longing to stay with the losers, since they were the only friends they had in this world. It would be lonely at first for sure, but something told Eddie that they had each other, and that’s what mattered at last. 

Tears pricked his eyes at the thought of it, but he was unable to move without waking the other one. He let them flow down his cheeks and onto the wooden floor panels. Silent tears turned into the quietest sobbing he could manage, with a hand over his mouth to stifle the sounds. 

Richie’s arms tightened around his waist, as he tried to regain his cognitive abilities, if he ever even had that. Eddie tried not to make any sounds, in hopes that Richie would fall asleep again. 

He felt fluttering eyelashes against his neck, and a hand that ran up to meet his own. “What’s wrong Eds?” Richie’s voice was raspy, but still had the softness of concern.

“I- I don’t want to leave out friends” Eddie admitted with an equally hoarse voice. 

“We can stay if that’s what you want?” 

Eddie glanced around with blurry eyes. The others were sleeping peacefully with innocent expressions. It was nice to see them like this, since they were all traumatized after the summer three years ago. It was like they had a constantly worried look on their face, but it all melted away when they slept. 

“We could visit them, right?” Eddie looked back at Richie with big eyes, a trick he had used way too many times for his advantage.

Richie smiled. “Of course love, we can visit them as soon as we know we’re safe”. It was a weird thing to say, to be safe, but it was a sad truth they had to face. Safe wasn’t necessarily with his uncle, but it was a start. Richie had no idea if his uncle would even still remember him, since it had been at least seven years since they had seen each other. He never got to know why they never visited him, especially since they only lived about an hour away. 

Bill stirred from his sleeping bag and accidentally hit Stan in the face. “What the fuck” Stan rasped out and hit Bill back. After just a few seconds, they fell back asleep with loud snores. Richie and Eddie tried their best not to laugh and clasped their hands over each other’s mouths. Yet they both burst out laughing which woke absolutely everyone. 

“Motherfucker!” Bev threw a pillow over to where they laid, but luckily missed. She was scarily good at throwing, especially when she was pissed. Ben rose from beside her and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. 

“Bill and Stan, this is all your fault,” Richie stated. He was partially correct. It was Stan and Bill’s fault for making them laugh, but it was their fault for finding it funny. It was better to blame it on them though. 

“How the fuck is it our fault?” Stan protested while Bill flipped them off. 

"Well you made us laugh, dickhead" Richie slapped Eddie's arm while he tried to stop his laughter. Bill glared at them through half-lidded eyes, as if he was in the process of falling asleep again. 

They had left the door to the clubhouse open, so the sunlight of morning shone over the floor and illuminated their friends like angels. It made them even sadder, because these were the people who had stood up for them since they were small, innocent, and naive children. It was such a change from how they were now. They had killed an interdimensional murder clown, and had almost gotten killed themselves in the process. It would've made any child traumatized for life, but somehow they had gotten through it. Together. 

Richie saw the sad look Eddie had on his face. He kissed the other's cheek and muttered "anyone brought breakfast?" to the group while soothingly stroking Eddie's arm. 

Bev hummed and dragged herself out of her sleeping bag with a groan. "You fuckfaces should be glad I like all of you." She stretched her arms above her head and closed her eyes as the knots in her back loosened. While Ben and Bill looked at her with heart eyes, Richie cringed at the cracking sound her back made. 

"Chop chop, wifey. The food doesn't make itself." Richie smirked at Bev, who was seconds away from throwing a knife at Rich. She took a deep breath and sighed. 

"Eddie, you can stay here in Derry. Richie, you're out," Bev waved the knife she used to cut the cucumbers in Richie's direction. Eddie smiled at her and mouthed a `thank you` to her, and she returned the heartfelt smile.

Ben slipped out of his sleeping bag to help Bev, and Richie contemplated doing it too, but decided against it as he was sitting very comfortably against Eddie's back.

"Fuck you Bev" 

"I'd rather not," Bev gave Richie the same smirk Richie had just given her. "That's what you have Eddie for, don't you"

Eddie's face went bright red as he burst out "Well now I definitely don't want to stay!"

"Did you ever doubt it?" Richie questioned in a more serious tone than he intended. Suddenly they had the other's attention as well. 

"Well, there have been small moments where I didn't want to leave. I'm going to miss Derry, but I really want to leave." He had to admit he had thought about it more than he should, and he seriously contemplated not leaving, but he knew the consequences of both actions.

"But why?" Ben shot in between. Both he and Bev went over to where they sat gathered. Eddie let his mind wander again, which he shouldn't have. 

"I don't want to leave, but Bowers is going to kill us if he sees us again. Mom also threatened to call the police if she sees me with Richie again."   
Both Beverly and Richie grabbed his hands to urge him to continue. "I want to leave her. She has done nothing good to me except tell me I had all these fake illnesses and shit. I would've died if I had to live with her for another year. And I can't imagine being without Richie." Tears threatened to fall again, but Richie wiped them away right before they fell. He stroked the top of his hand gently and gave him a sad smile. 

"I just can't " Eddie whispered before he broke down and clung onto Bev. His hands clutched onto Beverly's lace shirt as he cried into her shoulder. The rest of the losers gathered up in a quiet moment of departure. It was a silent embrace of friendship. A moment of understanding, knowledge, and love. 

They sat there for God knows how long. No one spoke, not a single sound made. A single thought ran through all of their heads: even though we'll split, our souls will remain together.

"Richie" Bev whispered as quietly as she could over Eddie and Bill's shoulders. Richie lifted his head from Eddie's back, where he rested with closed eyes. He raised his eyebrow at Bev, who monitored to Eddie with a bob of her head. He raised the opposite eyebrow when he didn't understand what she meant. 

She monitored to her pouted lips and then bobbed her head to Eddie again. Richie gave her an `are you sure` kind of look. She nodded with a smile and rested her head on Eddie's shoulder again like she had done before.

Richie looked over Eddie's shoulder on the opposite side. Many thoughts ran through his head, ranging from "is this appropriate?", to "should I have brushed my teeth?". He trusted Bev and tilted Eddie's head in his direction, kissing him with the uttermost tenderness. Eddie's lips quivered against his own.

A strange wave of energy ran through all of them in this strangely intimate moment. It was something that could only be described as if light had mass, and it pulsated through their veins. Richie and Eddie split with a jerk, like they had been electrocuted.

"You guys felt that right?" Mike whispered, to which everyone nodded at, an aura of wonder lingered upon them.

It had gotten lighter in the room, but they didn't know if it was because they had all been half asleep for however long they had been sitting there, or if it had gotten lighter because of that wave.

Bev groaned and complained about her back again, while the other losers half-listened since they were all still sleepy. She walked over to the little nook they had for food, which Eddie had disinfected according to every known law of science. There were 9 sandwiches made, but she had no idea how many she needed to make, but by the look of their predatory faces, she guessed a lot more. 

Luckily for her, Ben and Mike helped her with the rest of the sandwiches. By the time they were done, Eddie and Richie were already halfway out the door.

"Before you leave; do you guys want some breakfast?" Bev held out a plate of sandwiches with a soft smile.

They would part, but their souls would remain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not completely satisfied with how this chapter turned out, but it is what it is :/


	10. us f*gs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ!
> 
> This chapter contains very triggering actions and hate speech. If any of this triggers you, please do not read! I'll add a "trigger free" summary in notes at the end if you want to read that instead, just to make sense of the new chapters that may sound like they have plotholes. Fyi, this is the worst chapter of all, and I absolutely hated writing it.

Their feet were sore by the time they had gotten through the streets of Derry. They were officially free now. Free from worry, bullies and their parents.

Turned out only one of those statements were true. 

“Hey, faggots!”

Fuck.

Both hit their breaks right when they heard the voice of Henry Bowers from their right. His dark eyes prayed on them from the forest nook, a disgusting smirk rested on his face. Just when they thought they could just cycle away from their problems, Henry’s minions grabbed them and threw them down on the ground. 

“Eddie!” Richie’s eyes scanned furiously for his boyfriend to see if he was alright, but a fist to his face made him shut up. Static sounds filled his ears as the form above him kicked his ribs, right where he got punched the day before by the same goddamn gang. Only a call for his name pulled him out of his trance. He gasped, eyes going wide as he saw Eddie being held down by Victor Criss, Belch Huggins grabbing at his fanny pack.

“Richie! Uh, get off me!” Eddie screamed at Belch as he tried to open his fanny pack. Belch didn’t seem to give up though, even with how much Eddie kicked at him. Richie wanted to protect him, and hated to see the fear in Eddie’s eyes. He knew the boy had had several bad encounters with the assholes, and it truly hurt him to see Eddie fearing for his life, which he knew was a risk at the moment. 

From the corner of Richie’s eye, he could see Henry opening the backpack that had fallen off him when he fell. The zipper opened and all its content fell onto the asphalt. A few t-shirts, some underwear, socks and shorts. Nothing out of the ordinary. Henry shook it once more, letting a plastic bag fall into the pile of clothes. 

“Jesus fuck, you guys are fucking disgusting” Henry held out the plastic bag with a used condom in. Richie had forgotten to throw it away and didn’t want to think about the things he might do to them with it. Hopefully, he would just call them a few nice nicknames, give them a hug and wish them a safe travel. 

Henry approached them slowly and gave them the same predatorial eyes he had when they first saw him. “Now, which one of you fairy’s cum is this?” he hissed out, circling them like a wolf.

“Which one is the pillow-biter, is the right question to ask” Belch let out a disgusting laugh. Eddie could smell his horrible breath from the ground, it was something he could only describe as rotten sewers full of dead children. Sinister, yeah, but the truth. 

“You queers are gonna get what you deserve” he neared Eddie with the condom. Eddie squirmed in the men's grip, his hypochondria kicking in, that he for a moment forgot he had. He had no idea what Henry was going to do to him with a condom, but he knew it definitely wouldn’t be good. It wasn’t much you could do with it, he reflected. But he guessed the bully would have a creative spark. 

He shut his eyes and clenched his teeth as Henry dangled the piece of plastic over his face. “Look at this little bitch” Victor mocked while he crushed Eddie’s wrists together. One of his hands went down to Eddie’s face to hold him still. The calloused hand rasped against his skin. He hated it.

Belch pried his mouth open. Henry lowered it slowly, and Eddie could feel the tears prick at his eyes. 

“Get your fucking hands off him” Richie yelled out at them, but the only result he got was a firm press to the ribs by heavy boots.

Belch pressed Eddie’s jaw together and made him bite down and make a hole in the used condom. The salty taste wasn't desirable and he found himself cringing at the texture. Luckily for him, Belch let go of his face and he was able to execute his master plan. He spat the liquid onto Belch’s face in return. He scrubbed his face with the back of his hand and punched Eddie in the face with an open palm.

Richie hated the sound of Eddie’s jaw being on the edge of breaking right off.

“Like that, twink?” Henry didn’t seem bothered by his sidekick getting spat on by the boy, and rather pushed the condom into his mouth, which Eddie spat out as well beside them. He weirdly enough preferred the semen than the latex, even though he knew he didn’t have a latex allergy, contrary to what his mother had told him. 

“Shut up asshole” Richie spat out between pants of agony. He felt the coppery taste of blood in his mouth but decided against trying to wipe it away in fear that Patrick would hit him again. 

“The fuck did you say fag?” Henry turned to him. His expression had suddenly turned serious, which was definitely bad news to Richie’s mental wellbeing and health. He had no time to be a pussy if he wanted to see Eddie alive, so he swallowed down the bad feelings along with a little blood. 

“I said, sh-” he gasped as his glasses got broken by thick combat boots. A warm sensation washed over his face as he realized they had shattered and had pierced his skin. He clutched his eyes closed in an attempt to dull the pain, but to no avail. 

“Richie!” Victor’s grip tightened around Eddie’s wrist when he tried to escape. He thrashed until his wrists were free, but a punch to the stomach prevented him from crawling away. He folded over and held onto the area, which would probably give him a permanent indent. 

“Perverts like you shouldn’t be allowed to live in Derry” Henry’s eyes darted between the two boys, fists tightening at his sides. Both could see the tension in his face, just longing to punch someone, break someone’s leg and laugh at it. It was disgusting. He gripped Richie’s hair so that their eyes met. At the moment, Richie could definitely decide who he preferred to have his hair pulled by. 

“J-jokes on y-you” Richie smiled. He refused to meet Henry’s eyes, even though he was only able to open one of them. He had this internal belief that being cocky in front of bullies would lead to one of two things: a breakfast containing dirt, gravel and a fist for extra protein, or a shove to the ground and being left alone. Right now, he hoped for the latter. “We’re leaving this fucking place for good” 

“Why the hell would you leave?” Patrick chimed in, voice filled with a lust for danger and harm. Richie wasn’t dumb enough to mess with him. He knew the guy had a thing for torturing animals and would probably gladly move on to humans given the chance. 

“I’ve already fucked everyone’s mom here. Gotta move on to the next city” was what he wanted to say, but he didn’t want to get killed. “Parents are bitches, but that’s not a concept you’re familiar with anymore, is it Henry?” He didn’t say that either. He wasn’t a complete fucking idiot; just a bit of a fucking idiot. 

“I know your secret Hocksetter” was his only reply, which seemed to make the man freeze.

“Stop messing around jerk” he barked out. His voice was steady, yet Richie could hear the frenetic fear that hid right under the surface of his skin. 

“You enjoy those little subjects of yours, don’t you?” Richie knew he was nearing the edge of being killed, but at this point, he was able to ignore the pain that burned whenever he moved a muscle in his face, how his jaw wanted to fall off any second, and how his nose ran with blood. “You also seemed to enjoy having your hand down Bower’s pants”

“FUCK YOU” Henry shouted “You didn’t see shit. Understand Tozier?” the bully’s face was uncomfortably close to his own. He was sure at least a little spit had ejected onto his face, but he wouldn’t tell the difference between blood and saliva. “Don’t fucking forget what I did to you, because I would gladly do it again” 

Richie flinched, but just smiled at the guys. His method of humiliation seemed to work, much to his disbelief. Henry stepped away from him and gave the others a sign to let go of Eddie. The small boy whimpered as he fell onto the hard ground.

“If you let us go, I won’t tell anyone” Richie voice shook at the memory but made a solid promise. Both Henry and Patrick seemed to hesitate, but had a silent agreement pass between them. 

“If I ever see your ugly face or your little pillow-biting bitch in this town again, I’ll fucking kill you” Henry warned trough grid teeth. Richie didn’t trust vis vocal cords, so he just nodded with the sternest look he could manage without whimpering in fear. He was only ever able to breathe out when the man whistled for his gang to leave them alone. 

Once they were gone for good, Richie muttered “Jesus fuck” under his breath. He wiped the blood away from his lips, and cursed himself for still tasting the metallic substance in his throat. 

“Richie, you’re bleeding!” Eddie groaned out in pain as he tried to move over to his boyfriend. The hit to his ribs stung, otherwise his body was good, apart from a raw cheek. 

Richie shook his head and tried ho shield his face from Eddie so that he’d stop worrying. Eddie’s fingers touched his face so tenderly to point him in his direction. “Oh my God, your eye” he removed the remaining broken frame that hung crookedly over Richie’s face. He scrambled over to his suitcase and opened it in a rush, pulling out a small emergency set for, well, an emergency. 

“Hold still” Eddie whispered in concentration as he removed the small shards of glass from Richie’s cheeks, which hadn’t pierced as deeply as he thought, which was a relief on his part. Richie winced every time he picked out a piece of glass, so Eddie resorted to resting a hand on the back of his lover’s head to prevent further damage. 

Richie felt the blood run down his cheeks and land on his khakis with a silent splat. After a while, he became numb to the glass, but still appreciated Eddie’s hand gently cradling his head. Eddie had a constant frown on his face, but Richie was unsure if it was because he was worried or just concentrated about not fucking anything up. 

“I’m fine” Richie reassured, but Eddie just gave him a knowing look and shook his head. 

“I need to apply antiseptic,” Eddie informed him, probably because he knew the antiseptic would burn on his skin. Eddie was correct, as Richie hissed out in pain as he applied it with a small cotton ball. “Please keep still, Rich”

After a long while, Richie spoke. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

Richie took a deep breath as Eddie sat back and removed the stinging liquid from his face. “For forcing you into this” he never meant for something like that to happen. He hoped they would just get to his uncle’s house without any complications, but it seemed like that couldn’t be further from the truth. And they hadn’t even gotten out of town yet!

“Hey” Eddie cupped Richie’s cheek and gave him a sad but uplifting look. “You could’ve never known this would happen. I wanted to run away. I wanted to run away with you. We’ll never get bullied by them again” he smiled at Richie, hand resting at the boy’s thigh. 

“I never wanted you to get hurt. I promised to protect you” Richie recalled what Bev had said at the clubhouse, but it held more meaning now. Protecting Eddie didn’t seem like a chore, but more like something he was obliged to do, and it had always been like that. 

“Bowers would’ve killed us if you hadn’t interrupted him with your loud mouth” 

“I guess”

“I know we’re having an emotional moment and shit, but I need to patch you up before you get an infection” Eddie turned to his kit and pulled out a gauze pad and some big band-aids. 

“But what about you?” Richie worried. Eddie’s cheek had already turned deep red with undertones of yellow. He didn’t want to touch it, in fear of it being tender and painful.

“I want to patch you up first” He saw Richie hesitate, but gave him a knowing gaze. “I’m sorry, but I’ll need to cover up your eye because the skin around it will get fucked up for a while” Eddie warned as he applied the gauze pad with some medical tape. The band-aids were hander to apply, as he tried not to get the sticky parts of it on a cut. 

“How the fuck am I going to survive the bike ride. I can’t even see your face without the glasses” Richie looked around once Eddie was finished with applying the band-aids. He couldn’t see anything. He could barely see the difference between the trees, asphalt, and sky. Everything was just a blur. “Can’t see shit”

“I can guide you” Eddie glanced over at his bike. The wheel was flat for sure, along with a broken handle. “I can sit on the back of your bike and point you in the right direction. They broke my bike”.

“Problem is that I can’t even see your hands, much less the road”

Eddie thought for a moment. “Maybe I can pull your hair in the right direction” he teased, but for a moment he swore Richie looked at him as if he had been serious. 

Richie’s face lit up in a smile, which he regretted because of the sting in his cheek muscles. “kinky” 

“Oh, shut up” 

“Make me” Richie bit his lip in an attempt to look seductive, but it didn’t have the same effect when half of his face was covered in stained gauze pads. Still, it somehow made Eddie’s heart skip a beat, which he was sure wasn’t a symptom of a heart attack. 

An instinct made him lean forwards and press his lips gently onto the other’s. Neither of them wanted to move their hands in fear that they would land on a tender area, so they kept their hands to themselves. Eddie felt the metal-like taste in his mouth from Richie’s. His first instinct was to pull back and brush his teeth thoroughly until they were free of germs (which wasn’t possible in the first place), but his inner dialogue told him to continue. 

They sat there for a while with their foreheads lightly touching. Birds chirped quietly from the forest and the soft wisp of wind made the leaves flutter. The sun, which had now risen high in the sky warmed the ground around them. 

“I love you Eds” Richie’s words were too quiet to be heard apart from for Eddie.

“Don’t call me that, Richard” Eddie held the same tone, but dragged the name out to make it sound even more annoying He distanced himself from his lover, which he always hated doing but was necessary. They helped each other up from the ground, since their shared strength now equated to half a Stan. “But in all seriousness, where are we heading to exactly” 

“Hancock” Richie gave him a quick glance to see his reaction while he packed his clothes and such into his backpack again. 

“Had to be something with cock in it, didn’t it” Eddie groaned. Richie just gave him a wide grin before patting the small space behind him on the bike. It was not like Eddie had grown a lot over 3 years, but it was mostly because Richie had become so much taller and took up more space than his gangly form had done previously. 

Eddie took a moment to place his bike into some nearby bushes but failed to remember the bloody and shattered glasses that still rested on the asphalt. “Let’s fucking go” he squeezed himself onto the small space behind Richie. He did at least have enough brain cells to put his backpack on in the opposite direction, so that Eddie wouldn’t be bothered by it. 

“Do you by any chance have some extra space in your backpack? I don’t think we’ll be able to bring my suitcase” Richie hopped off by the second and gathered a handful of clothes and accessories in his arms. He stuffed them down into the backpack and zipped it as far as it would go. Eddie scooted a little back so that Richie would easier hop onto the bike. 

“Wait!” Eddie unbuckled his fanny pack and threw them into the bushes where his bike would rest forever.

Richie kicked off his bike with Eddie on the back into the great unknown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They encounter Henry and his gang. Henry says some mad shit and is not very friendly. Richie uses Patrick and Henry's secret against them, and threatens to expose them. After the gang leaves, Eddie yeets his ruined bike into a few bushes, along with his fannypack. They go off together on Richie's bike to Hancock.
> 
> Injuries that will have a significance in the future:  
> Richie got his glasses shattered and pieces of the glass pierced his skin. Eddie patched him up with gauze pads and band-aids, covering his left eye. His glasses are discarded on the ground. 
> 
> Eddie got a large bruise on the side of his jaw along with VERY tender ribs.


	11. A pit stop in Ellsworth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *not edited because it's 3 am

Eddie fell asleep on Richie’s back an hour after they left Derry. Richie guessed the time had to be around 3 pm, which meant they had been on the road for about 5 hours. He had no idea how far it was to Hancock. He didn’t even know if they would arrive there today. The several hills he had cycled made his legs sting, but he couldn’t stop now that they had gotten so far.

He had seen the humungous sign for Ellsworth a few minutes back, but still had no idea how far that was from Hancock. The only thing he did know was that they were heading in the right direction. 

The road was still incredibly blurry, and so was every building they passed. Eddie had previously warned him of cars and when he neared the edge of the road, but he didn’t want to wake him. It was a miracle that they hadn’t gotten hit by a car, but he assumed his ninja skills could sense when a car was heading towards them. 

It was a reassurance when they arrived in a small, almost familiar town. They passed several familiar branded shops, a few hotels, a church, and several too normal people. Too normal compared to the supernatural life in Derry at least. It definitely felt more lived-in than Derry, yet there was still a ghostly feel to it.

Eddie woke up shortly after they had passed another church. “Rich, where are we?”. For the first time in 5 hours, Richie stopped. He turned around on his bike and gave Eddie the biggest hug he could manage in the cramped position. His lungs and ribs stung terribly, but hugging Eddie could eliminate all pain, he told himself. 

“Ellsworth. We’re soon there, I hope” he panted. They pulled apart from each other and looked around at their surroundings. It was like Derry, but bigger. There were the regular shops, such as diners, clothing stores, food stores and such, but something eerily similar caught Richie’s attention. 

He had been forced to wait outside for Eddie to get his pills from the pharmacy so many times that he could draw it precisely by memory, if he could draw. The pharmacy in Ellsworth looked exactly the same as the one they had in Derry. He didn’t know if pharmacies had a standard build-model or something like that, but it set him off anyways. He also wouldn’t comment on it unless Eddie noticed it too. 

Eddie’s rumbling stomach made him snap out of his intense thought process. “Should we get something to eat Eds?” Richie asked over his shoulder. Eddie nodded and held tightly onto Richie’s t-shirt as they cycled over to one of the most cheap-looking diners. They were teens with no money to spare, as much as Eddie hated low quality, greasy and messy food, he had to accept that they couldn’t afford better.

They entered the small diner and was immediately hit by the smell of burgers, fries, and everything fast and cheaply made. Richie could read the clear disgust laced on Eddie’s face like an open book. Brows furrowed and nose wrinkled, eyes scanning the place as if he tried to find rats roaming between the booths. 

“Come on Eddie” Richie grabbed his arm and lead him over to the cleanest looking booth he could spot. Eddie shuddered at the sound of squeaky fake leather under his weight.

A young woman quickly attended their table and gave them their menus, saying she’d be right back before disappearing into the kitchen. They flipped through their menus with little enthusiasm. 

Richie didn’t fancy a burger or anything foody-food, so he settled for a cheap, ham and shrimp sandwich. He’d have to pick out the shrimps it was supposed to have though, since he was still traumatized by what he called `the shrimp accident of 87`. 

“Whaddya` feel like having Eds?” Richie glanced up from the tall menu. 

“Eh, the vegetarian sandwich, I think” Eddie looked as tired as he sounded. His eyes were at the point of falling shut even though he had already slept for quite a few hours. 

The waitress came back and took their orders, then dismissing herself to take another table’s orders and left to the kitchen. 

Plates clattered quietly in the background of Eddie’s mind. He tried to NOT eavesdrop another table’s conversation, but it was the only thing he could focus on to keep himself from dozing off. It went from every word to slurred words in every other sentence as he almost fell asleep. His head slammed onto the table before his head jerked up again, wide eyes as he looked around to see if anyone had noticed it.

The waitress stood right by their table and held out their sandwiches, a sly smirk resting on her lips. “Mornin` hon” she giggled. Eddie looked down on the table in embarrassment, with a light blush dusting his cheeks. She set down their food and winked to him, them tanking her for the food. 

“Crush huh?” Richie grumbled as he picked the shrimps out of his sandwich. Eddie noticed the subtle way Richie didn’t meet his eyes, but aimed at his nose instead. He knew this was something Richie did when he was angry, frustrated or nervous. This was a new one though. Jealousy. 

“No, no! Of course not.” Eddie reassured, but there was still something not right. He was too tired to argue with Richie, especially when everyone could hear them.

They ate in silence until both of them had started picking on the remains of their food. 

Eddie hated how he could read Richie much easier than anyone else had been able to do before. Even better than his parents. It was the way his cheeks made a deeper shadow when he clenched his jaw, which no one else would notice. The slight twitching of his fingers when he was unsure or felt uneasy. When he had been quiet for too long or hadn’t made a dumb joke. 

“Rich..” Eddie started, only to be interrupted by the person he wanted the least to approach them. `Please leave, please leave, please leave` he chanted in his head. 

“The name is Shannon Bailey” She held out her hand and smiled widely at the boy, a sparkle in her eyes as he shook it. She spared a single quick glance over to Richie, but resumed her full attention to Eddie, who felt very uneasy though he appeared not to be. 

“Nice to meet you, Shannon!” Eddie squeaked back. God, why did he feel like he was cheating on Richie by talking to another person? He introduced himself none the less, as well as Richie, since he was way too interested in the anatomy of shrimp to pay attention. “I’m Eddie, and this is my friend” he cringed at the word but knew he couldn’t say the `cursed word`. “Richie”

“Haven’t seen y'all around here before. New in town or passing?” 

“Just passing. On that note, how far is Hancock from here?” He tried to avoid every subject other than what he needed to know. Even though she definitely didn’t sound like a local, he figured she must have some kind of local knowledge. 

“Bout` 10 minutes. Why?” She leaned over the counter and cocked an eyebrow. 

Eddie looked over at Richie as if to ask if it was alright to tell her, to which Richie nodded to, if he had even understood what he had been thinking of. 

“We’re kind of on the run, and we’re going to Richie’s uncle for the time being. We’ve been cycling for hours now”

“Well, where y’all from then?”

“Derry” Richie muttered from where he had bundled up by the window, fingers lightly dragging some of the blinds down to spy on the outside world. 

“Ah, Murders’ nook as we like to call it” Shannon elbowed him in the ribs. `Too early, get to know me first` Eddie thought loudly. “Never been there, but I’ve heard a lot about it in the news.” She wasn’t able to finish her thoughts when a bang was heard from the kitchens.

“Shay! Costumers!” A frustrated man busted through the kitchen doors and snapped his fingers at the girl while grid his teeth almost audibly. She flipped him off and groaned, her feet dragging over the floor to the kitchen. 

“One more thing! Do you by any chance offer jobs here?” Richie turned to her with the same sternness he had earlier, but with a tone slightly lighter. 

She gave him a half-smile, and ran into the kitchen, only to return with a sheet he had to fill in.


	12. Herman Tozier: not an asshole

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I refuse to abandon the fic, even with the lack of motivation! It has been 2 months since the last update and I feel like I've let some of you down by having you wait for so long. Now that it's approaching summer break, I will get more time to do stuff, so maybe I'll be able to finish the fic soon?

Richie was nervous. He hadn’t seen his uncle in years, and he had no idea if the guy even remembered him. The last time they had met, Richie was 9. It was the same time as his father, Wentworth, and his uncle had fought, making their visit cut short. He had no idea what the argument had been about, but it had surely torn their family in half. 

Come to think of it, the only thing Richie could remember about his uncle was that his name was Herman, but that was about it. He had still been a kid at the time and never paid attention to how people acted around him, and he was sure he hadn’t been too keen on hanging out with his uncle. 

Eddie sensed his internal panic and wrapped his arms tighter around him. They weren’t too far away from where Richie thought his uncle's house was. It was a blurry memory but having a house that looked wildly different from everyone else’s in the neighborhood was an advantage. 

“Thanks, Eds” Richie whispered, not quite loud enough for Eddie to hear, yet intended for him. In the distance, Richie could barely make out the form of a very wide, VERY orange house, besides normal white and gray houses. 

Despite his bad sight, he could (almost) never go wrong regarding his uncle’s house. Dang, he remembered the house better than the man himself. 

“Is that the house?” Eddie pointed right ahead at said house. Richie nodded, gulping as his hands tightened around the handle. 

All his questions buzzed around in his head like a hive of irritated wasps. Would he recognize him? Had he moved, or did he still live there? Would he even accept them into his house? Was he as much of an asshole as his father had claimed?

Subconsciously, he stopped in his uncle’s driveway. Eddie tapped his shoulder lightly. Richie first then noticed he had stopped. All of a sudden, the road in front of him seem very interesting.

Had he made a mistake coming here? There was a chance the man wanted nothing to do with him. He could always back down and cycle back to Derry or some other random place. 

He couldn’t do this. 

He couldn’t. 

He had to leave. 

“RICHIE” Eddie hissed, hitting his shoulder. The boy looked angry. Had they already been inside? He couldn’t remember.

“How did it go?” Richie muttered. His eyes scanned everywhere but Eddie’s face. 

“Wa-? What do you mean?” Eddie looked puzzled and darted between the house and Richie. 

“Have we talked to him?”

“No, um, are you alright?” Eddie touched Richie’s cheek tenderly, but still got no reaction from the latter. 

Richie took a deep breath. “Ijustdon’tthinkthisisagoodidea.”

“We’ve come all this way, so don’t you dare fucking back down now idiot.” Eddie groaned at the ground. 6 hours of cycling for nothing. He had been asleep most of the journey, but it was a shitty nap, so he was allowed to complain. They didn’t have anything to go back to anyways, so they had to make it work. Motels were too expensive, and Richie would have been an idiot for passing a chance of living in a proper house. “Just go over there and knock fuckface.”

Richie hesitated but swung his leg over the bike. He glanced one last look back at Eddie, hoping that he looked enough like a kicked puppy for Eddie to say that they could go somewhere else. Unfortunately, the other just stared holes in his head and frowned in anger. 

He gulped, stepping up the stairs and inching closer to the dreaded door. He raised a shaky fist and knocked on the door. The noise was too loud, even louder than the ringing in his ears. He stared nervously at his feet, not noticing the door that swung open. 

“What do ya want kid?” A rough voice tore his stare from the ground up to the tall figure in front of him. Not taller than him though, but he himself was nearing 6 ft. Just as he opened his mouth, the man interrupted “If it isn’t the smallest Tozier boy!”. Richie nodded, slightly weirded out that his uncle recognized him after all those years. 

“What the fuck happened to your face buddy? Almost didn’t recognize you without those thick glasses!” 

“I aged?” Richie chuckled, rubbing his hands together nervously. Then it hit him. “Oh, you meant the…” he gestured a hand over his bandaged eye and cheek. His uncle nodded, waiting patiently as he leaned against the doorway. “We ran into some assholes back in Derry. Nothing to worry about.”

“We?” He craned his neck to see who was behind Richie, spotting another boy behind him. “Who’s he?”

Richie waved Eddie over, who jogged over to them but stayed behind Richie just in case. “Eddie Kaspbrak” he introduced himself and held his hand out. Instead of a handshake, the man gave him an awkward fist bump out of instinct. 

“Herman Tozier, a pleasure to meet you.” 

“You too, Mr. Tozier.”

“Fucking hell just call me Herman... or uncle for all I care”, Herman chuckled. It was a relief to Richie that he was nothing like his own father. 

“So, what brings you guys here? Wait…Your asshole of a dad threw you out huh?” Herman leaned onto the doorframe as if he was still a punk in his teens. From the looks of it, Herman was definitely no teen, having passed that point a decade or two ago. 

“Um, yeah” Richie looked down in shame, smile fading.

Herman took a few seconds to process, his brain acting like an old windows pc. “Okay, so you’ve either crashed your dad’s car, killed a guy or you’re gay”

“The last one I’m afraid” Richie gave him a careful gaze.

Herman looked at him with wide eyes before turning in the door. 

“Leighton! I told you he’d grow up gay!” He yelled inside, grinning widely. 

“You and your weird prophesies Herman. Never understood them,” another man yelled back from inside. He sounded much younger than Herman and had a more polished voice.

Herman chuckled to himself and shoved the boys inside, their bike left in the driveway as well as all of their belongings. “This is Leighton,” the man in question waved from the couch, beer in hand as he watched some sort of typical sitcom. “He’s crashing here for a while until he’s able to get a loan from the bank.” He turned back to Richie. “And just to inform you, he’s your cousin… I think…”

“Never really been in touch with my dad’s side of the family,” Richie shrugged. The only person he’d met from his dad’s side was his grandpa, who had been just as much of an asshole as his dad had been. 

He hadn’t really given a thought as to why all his cousins, uncles and aunts had never been introduced to him, but he guessed they must’ve been too kind to be counted as family since his direct family tree apparently had an asshole gene. 

“I’ll be guessing you guys need a place to stay,” Herman led them along a thin hallway until they reached a door with a dainty little embroidered heart hung from the skinniest nail Richie had ever seen in his life. “Lucky for you, I have a spare guestroom.”

“What about…” Eddie couldn’t remember the other guy’s name, so he just nodded to the living room.

“Jerk spilled soda over my chair, so he deserves to sleep on the sofa. That shit is hard as a rock,” Herman snickered to himself. He saw Leighton throw a finger up at him from the couch. “I assume you guys have nothing against sleeping in the same bed,” Eddie’s face reddened at the comment, to which Herman let out a laugh and hit the small boy’s back teasingly. 

“We’ll be quiet,” Richie chimed in with a bright smile. 

“Richie, you fucking sock!” Eddie scolded with a growl and slapped Richie’s arm, but not in the teasing manner Herman had. 

“As long as you don’t argue like that at night while this old man is trying to sleep, you’re welcome to stay for as long as needed” Leighton shot in. “If you need any help, the nearest neighbors are Mrs. Langdon and Mr. and Mrs. Bailey with their daughter Shannon, who I think is the same age as you guys.” Richie grid his teeth together at the name, hate flooding through his system. 

_“The name is Shannon Bailey”_

“I think we’ll be fine on our own,” Richie hissed, a little too quick for Eddie’s liking. He could see the faint anger in Richie’s eyes, though he could assure him time and time again that he DEFINITELY did NOT have even the faintest feelings for that girl.

“Alrighty then; unpack your stuff and help me make dinner.” Herman dismissed them outside the room and wobbled his way down the hallway to what they presumed was the kitchen.

Richie took a deep breath and opened the door. It wasn’t much: a single bed, a desk, and a nightstand. Not much to shout hurray for, but it was the new home, and they had to accept that. 

They went outside to fetch Richie’s backpack with their shared belongings, as well as to put away the bike they had haphazardly left on the street. Eddie hated the tension that had built up between them and didn’t fail to notice Richie’s expression when he glanced over at where Shannon was said to live. 

He had tried bringing up the subject while they were unpacking their clothes and personal belongings, but Richie would only shrug it off and tell him he wasn’t jealous, or mad as he had put it. Eddie knew the face of jealousy. He had probably seen it more than anything else in life. 

He saw it every day. The look of someone who longed for someone they knew they could never have, but someone else could. Feeling like a person belongs to you, and you alone. 

He saw it every time they passed the shop windows. The reflection of his own face displaying his exact emotions, but the others would be too occupied to notice. In the reflection, he would see Richie flirting playfully with everyone in losers club. He knew it was just how Richie acted around them, but the jealousy boiled from inside him. It tempted him to back the other into a corner and scold him for talking to anyone else. 

_Flirt with me, not them._

But all that was before Richie had confessed, and every single jealous thought he had evaporated into thin air. Yet now he had no idea how to show Richie that he wasn’t going to lose him to some waitress. No, Eddie couldn’t ever like her more than a friend. He didn’t feel for women in such a way. Not men either. Only Richie. 

They had a rocky start to their relationship, but Eddie refused to let it fall apart now that they had pined over each for years. He convinced himself that they were right for each other. It was the situation they happened to be in that wasn’t right. 

Once they were finished, they helped Herman make dinner. It wasn’t anything fancy, but their bodies screamed for proper food, so at that point, anything would kill their hunger. 

They all sat down by the table in the living room. Herman flipped through the channels on the TV until he was satisfied with some low-grade comedy show. Even Richie, who enjoyed shitty jokes, was offended by the lack of good content. 

“So I gotta ask Richie: is your dad still being an asshole at home?” Herman sounded pissed, and Richie knew he had everything against his dad. He guessed they hadn’t spoken since the short visit years ago, and Herman would probably not search for him anytime soon, even if it was an emergency. 

“What can I say. Once an asshole, always an asshole.” Richie played around with his fork, but couldn’t find himself to eat. The mention of his dad made him lose his appetite completely, even though his body yelled at him to eat. 

The asshole shouldn’t have had a part in his upbringing, because he had caused floods of information and years of insecurity. “I never got to hear what he thought about me liking boys, but I think the comments he has made in the past sums it up pretty well.” 

He had heard it time and time again. `Don’t look at those disgusting fags.` `Don’t look at those boys like that Richie. You might grow up to be like them.` The man had always said it like he was going to grow up a cultist or something. He had gotten the mentality of `gays are bad` drilled into his brain, so coming to terms that he was the one thing his father hated made him want to dig his own grave before coming in contact with him again. 

“Don’t listen to him, Rich.” Herman changed the channel to some nature documentary. Two penguins sat with their kid between them, snuggling up to them for heat. “Some people shouldn’t be parents if they can’t accept their kid being anything different than what society expects of them.”

Richie stared at his untouched plate of food. 

Society. What a fucked-up thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you guys think will happen next?
> 
> (Thanks for reading btw!)


End file.
